U.T.H. Podcast
U.T.H. Podcast
Ep. 110 Dramatic Realization
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Follow us on Instagram @uth.podcast
Email the boys questions and other funny stuff to uthpodcast@gmail.com
I think we're in business place. It sounds good. Alright, we're back. We're back.
SPEAKER_04We're finally back.
SPEAKER_01We're finally back. Some technical difficulties which held up for recording. How long have I been here? They don't know that, dude. They don't know anything about it. They don't need to know any of the tech that goes through it. We haven't had a guest in a while, and that would have been embarrassing bringing the guests down. No, it would have been fucking terrible. They would have left by now. Ah, they better not fucking leave. We could have invited back that freaking Chomo who was talking about being a Belgian and his Belgian beers.
SPEAKER_04I get it, dude. You're a nice guy. You're trying to relate to me. I don't want to fucking talk to you.
SPEAKER_01He was wearing a button-up shirt. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04You don't seem like a guy I would talk to.
SPEAKER_01That's why I kind of tried to clown him with, like, oh, and where they keep the pink elephant. And he was like, Dan's like, uh huh. Like, yeah. Yeah. Clap him.
SPEAKER_04I felt like he kept looking at me because I was the one who had this on his fucking in front of him. Yeah. And I'm like, you want to talk to that guy. Really don't know what to do. You don't want to talk to him. And I don't want to talk to him.
SPEAKER_01We're in a reverse love triangle. I hate you. He hates me. He wants to love you, but I hate him. Hate him. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But you're the only one really giving him anything.
SPEAKER_01Was he by himself or like what's the problem with that? I hope he was. I hope he has no friends, no loved ones.
SPEAKER_04But yeah, yeah. Maybe he's a lonely man.
SPEAKER_01Maybe he's a lonely man.
SPEAKER_04That's what I'm going to Belgium.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it is also the problem with having that's why we need a studio. Because bringing anyone back, they're kind of like to come to your house.
SPEAKER_04And you know, we just gotta I'm sure we can run out of studio space for like 150 bucks a month.
SPEAKER_01Well, my my next thing is because if y'all listen to the last episode, we went through parsed through Rye Choir. Now um uh mulletfinger needs to put out an EP to show that we know what we're fucking talking about here. And um uh I think we should go to the Bethlehem, we have to scope out the Bethlehem Public Library recording studio. I know you've mentioned this before. I can't imagine it's good at all. I gotta be able to do that. Dude, I bet you it's better than yeah, anything that would cost multiple dollars. Yeah, like that would be a good one.
SPEAKER_04I mean, what was it for that EP? Too expensive, bro.
SPEAKER_01Like a thous a thousand bucks a song almost.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I honestly would just be down to scope it out one time. To scope it out.
SPEAKER_01I want to talk to a library, I want to talk to the librarian who's too young to be a librarian wearing a beanie and be like, can you tell me about the recording studio? Yes, I gotta talk to anybody.
SPEAKER_04And then he puts on his beanie. You know about it.
SPEAKER_01I had a feeling you were. I didn't see the beanie initially, so I didn't think you would know anything. Can I see at least one tattoo about a band that is I'm gonna hate, I'm gonna have a visceral response to when I look at it. Red Holly Chili Peppers tattoo? Woo! Five finger death punch? Nah, librarians do soft for five or death punch. It'd be like Joy Joy Division. We're talking about like Joy Division, maybe. That'd be fine. Joy Division's pretty fine. Not good. It'd be better than Five Finger Death Punch. I feel like they're two sides of the same coin. We'd have this conversation in front of them. Yeah. Way better than five-finger death punch. No, it's not. No, just gay. Two sides of the same coin. Two sides of the same coin. You might as well have a five-finger death punch cover-up because they're two sides of the same coin. Anyway, so what's up with you? Anyway, so we're asking you to do something for us. So what we say the hours we're in? Yeah, exactly. And you're gonna be the guy who's recording for us? Excellent. I guess. Yeah. What are your thoughts about songs with Hitler in them? We're killing them, though. We're killing them. We think. We think. Are we shaming the person who does it? We don't know. We don't know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It's really up to you. It's your own.
SPEAKER_01That's why it's artistic interpretation. We have layers to our songs for us. It's artisanal. It's artisanal. It's artisanal. Folks, by the way, this is UTH podcast with Ryan and Nate. We're back again.
SPEAKER_04I'd like to get a like a mood ring of songs going, you know what I'm saying? A mood ring of songs. You can listen to it and then your mood's gonna change.
SPEAKER_01Your mood will change. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, now that now we're talking you can listen to it angry or happy. Or happy. And yeah, what do you want?
SPEAKER_04Are you gleeful or are you sad?
SPEAKER_01And it works both ways. Exactly.
SPEAKER_04Exactly.
SPEAKER_01The next step in human evolution. It is the next step of human evolution. Songs that react to your emotions. That's what just AI music's gonna be.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna be like, give me a sad song for sad boys, and you're like, just don't get that I'm a Sigma chat, and be like, alright, we got you.
SPEAKER_01Give me infinite violator, but happy. I don't know, dude.
SPEAKER_03I don't I don't think music will be AI will be able to duplicate music as well as people will be able to do that.
SPEAKER_01The one guy that one guy I work with when he plays music on YouTube, I always find him playing AI music because he's like, it's the funk rendition of this. I'm like bro, like I do like have I fallen to the soul of holy diver version? Yes. Is it funny? Is it not bad? It's not bad, but I have to stop listening to AI music because it's so bad.
SPEAKER_03But it can't, like it will never be able to make a new song, dude. That'll be like they make new songs all the time. No, that'll be like good. That'll be like, wow, dude, this song is bang. If you told me like one of your favorite bands, be like, dude, that's AI, you'd be like, no, bro. Like, that's cannot man is AI. You telling me.
SPEAKER_01I mean, not exactly you know.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01We did, we like that song. I like that song too. Exactly. Made by AI artist freaking Avici. AI Ichi.
SPEAKER_03And all along the watchtower, but like, oh dude, that was actually made by AI. It'll get there, bro. There cannot. That cannot.
SPEAKER_04Indian dudes are doing MAGA fucking blonde lady Twitter accounts that people. But that's easy, though. That's easy.
SPEAKER_01You start with the low-hanging fruit, but you start with low-hanging fruit, and it slowly it goes up the whole orchard until the whole orchard slop.
SPEAKER_04That would not be easy ten years ago. I guess. I mean, you might have wait another 10 years, you're gonna have a problem.
SPEAKER_01I feel like it would have been actually incredibly easy. Guys have been getting alt-right dudes, have been getting duped on the getting fucking catfished for fucking decades. Well, that's a cat probably. I'm surprised the cat's been doors closed down here. It's normally used to be something new in this house. Something. Why have you annexed to one of the regions of my domicile?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01But I'm uh I don't know, boys, what's been going on with you? I have some stories. I have stuff that's been going on with me. Stories. I got travel, I got tale of heartbreak, tale of breaking adversity.
SPEAKER_06South Carolina.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Flew into North Carolina to drive down to South Carolina to see George Strait, the king of country.
SPEAKER_04Why not just drive to fly right to South Carolina?
SPEAKER_01Nah, well, because the tickets were cheaper. Because guess what? We flew on spirit, right? Either closed. Dude, got to be able to do that. Boy, did I well, I didn't. Got the flight too. Flight out got cancelled. Really? Because it went belly up. Oh, during that time. Ariel, Ariel woke me up on Saturday and was like, our flight is cancelled. I'm like, what we'll just get another flight. Like, what do you mean? They rescheduled. No, spirits gone.
SPEAKER_04Best for the humanity.
SPEAKER_01As I'm like, I'm like, oh no. I'm like, spanning's been blown up by it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you got hit with like the um, what's the fucking what's that fucking the langoliers, dude? You got hit with the langoliers, bro. The flight disappeared. I was grounded. I was grounded in the flight, whatever, whatever is fucking gone, bro.
SPEAKER_01And I'll come back in 30 years.
SPEAKER_04Go back in 30 years. You got refunded, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the $50 that would have been like my pro rate. Yeah. But so we were looking at flights back, it was all like over 500 bucks. Still gotcha. So I'm like, nah, I'm like, that ain't it. And so I'm like, let's just we'll just drive back, right? So we had a rent a car, expended to extend my we'll just walk it. To extend my rent a car was only 50 bucks, and to drop it off in Philly. So that wasn't that big of a deal. But it was woken up with a crisis where I had to use my man mind to decide. The man mind. The classic man mind. Mega minded it to figure it out. But um uh no, so George Strait played in Clemson, like the college. Clemson. Clemson, South Carolina, number one college in South Carolina, legit to them, according to them. Whoa. But I'll be honest, I didn't see the battle cocks. Battle cox is cooler than the little tiger, but I don't know anything you're saying. Yeah, what's the hell is it? It's the two the two D1 colleges in South Carolina is the Clemson Tigers and South Carolina State University Battlecocks. How could I forget fighting chickens, dude? Fighting chickens, bro. That's pretty good. But but to hold down Battlecox is Battlecox is pretty sweet, dude. That's pretty cool. It's like Battle Tud, but the other one you you paid for the wrong version. Like, what the fuck am I looking at? Yeah, they paid for like the Chinese Battle Toods and just penises walking around on their scroits. But Clemson was sick, cool college town. It's a town that just caters to it being a D1 college. Like the bar was called Study Hall, the one bar you went to. I'm like, bro, shill, shill, shill, shill more. But it was a cool bar, got pretty fucking lit up. Were you two the oldest around? No, not even close. Um uh because the stadium, because they included seating on the field, it was a sold-out 90,000 person crowd. There's a shit. So many fucking people. South Carolina, you fucking. Yeah, you're talking about it. We're talking, we're we're going to Source. We were we got there on Friday, we walked around Greensville, place where you were born. Yeah, the town of my birth. Town of my birth. I was looking for your birthday, so I rip it up. Looking for your birthday? I fucking have it here.
SPEAKER_00Look for his birthstone. My birthstone. Where's the stone? Where's the stone he was birthed from?
SPEAKER_01Looking for one of his whore cruxes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, what you should have done is you should have got like some soil. So I could have put it on. I could have brought some home soil. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I should have gotten some soil. Where do you live? Exactly, D full circle moment. I should have thought to get soil. There wasn't much soil there. Pretty built up this day. Soil. How much soil?
SPEAKER_02Soil is town.
SPEAKER_01I'm looking for soil. Not ever since it's a Yankee started. Charleston. Yeah, but um uh yes, went to buy where we used to live, Simpsonville, which is such a funny place that we used to live in. We used to live in Simpsonville. Actual cartoon tells you. That's why I meant I'm like, that's cartoonish, mother. How was it, dude? Was it cool? Greenville was fine. It was okay. What was it like? It was just like some suburb ass looking. No, it was a city built up, had like a pretty decent main street with some places to eat. Not as many cool bars as I would have hoped, but um uh it was fine. The only thing I was saying, country is king there. We're going by Friday karaoke night to me is a shambles because why the fuck? Like Friday's the main night. You're gonna let people do the old music? That's what you have recordings for. Yeah, bands. But every time I was we walked by, people were singing country music. Oh my god. So they're they're into it, they're into it. Even that's where it lives, dude. Yeah, this black guy was singing Hank Williams Jr. and he was doing it well. Yeah, that's where it was. And he was like a cool, like um uh blonde hair dyed, kind of like old black guy. So I was like, that's just where it lives, dude. That's where it lives. I think he like he knew his audience and he just is down there. That's old country, so it's probably edgy for them. It's not like Morgan Wallen dog shit. Yeah, so regardless, I was like, huh, this is really where it's at. Greenville was fine though. Um if you do go to Greenville, you should stop by group therapy. It's like a kind of like a like it's it's it's a bar with gimmicks, but they have like a full 18 whole putting thing that's a little gimmicky. But it's fun to have a like a mini golf in a bar where you can like go around the bar and it has like cool shots and stuff. Some of the shots you use your hand, like one shot you have to bounce the ball off of something to like get it to the thing. Yeah, dude, that's it. A little bit. They add they added there was a hinge of creativity. I was like, you know what? I do really appreciate that. Yeah, dude. No, that ain't bad. And it did piss me off. The last hole was based off like Happy Gilmore, and they gave you a hockey stick to shoot it. And you got one up the clown's tongue to shoot it in his mouth, and that was the last hole you lost your ball at that point. And so I go in there, I'm like, oh bro, call me Wayne Gretzky, baby. And Ariel goes first. I'm like, go ahead, it's gonna take two tries. She gets it up the tongue in. I'm like playing with all, alright, watch this shit, wrist shot it, bounces off, knocks somebody's drink over. I'm like, dang. Fucking chumba. Took me like five tries to get in that stupid clown's mouth, and I thought for sure I had it down, easy peasy, lemon squeeze. Was it a good bar though? Like, was it all fine? Oh, it was fine. Well, I say off the record. Freaking off the record. I I if I would if I was there, I would like I could I was about to tell her I couldn't live here. I wouldn't tell you this, but like I couldn't live there. The one bartender kept on calling me honey, kept on calling me sugar, kept on calling me baby. I was like, you damn temptress. He's like, I got that. He's like, I'll get it for you, baby nowhere. I'm like, what the fuck? And she was just like a white lady with pigtails. I'm like, what the fuck? I like I could I could have thrown it all away right there and then I was gonna say like so what are you saying, dude?
SPEAKER_03Like you didn't like that, or you did like too much.
SPEAKER_01I was like, I couldn't live here. If this was if I went to a bar and all the bartenders treated me like this, I'd be like, I'm like the I felt like the king of the castle. I'm so used to bartenders be like, fuck you. Like just like East Coast bars, they don't give a shit about anyone. And I like that.
SPEAKER_03Nine times out of ten, it's just you want to get it's hard to get the person's attention.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, please, please, please. Yeah, no, she used to treat me like freaking Taj Mahal. It was southern hospitality. I was like, holy fuck, she was I thought I couldn't hold my damn putter. I was so worked up. She cute, she was hot as fuck. Yeah, which made it, that's what made it worse. She was a freaking shrek. Yes, baby, I'm a honey. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, it's hard to tell. Normally people call you honey or sugar or the or old as fuck. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I mean.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she was that like, yeah, she was a good looking young lady. I was like, what the fuck are we doing here? She was like, uh, uh she was honey potting me. She might have been an agent. She might have been an Israeli agent. Did you give her a good tip? Yeah, it could be myself. Not really, no. That wasn't gonna fall to her tenterous ways. Yeah, fuck her. Fuck her. You see, I'm a married man practically doing this shit to me. Doing this to me. Look what you're fucking doing to me. Yeah, I said, no, get out of here. Yeah, she was being she was putting on the stripper vibe. Yeah. And I and I did not have my guard up. Well, because she knew you were with Ariel, dude. So you were like, it was like um claimed goods. No one steals something that's for free. Yeah, it was like playing with a caged tiger, dude. You know, you know, it can't hurt you, dude. So it's not fucking. Um playing with a cage tiger unless the cage is loose.
SPEAKER_02Someone enclosed the cage.
SPEAKER_01And then someone's gonna go Ringley Brothers on them, bitches. Yeah, no, dude. Yeah, but yeah, so that was funny. But yeah, public um group therapy, that was a cool spot. If you're in Greenville, it's really the only kind of cool thing in that town besides just bars and some upscale, low-scale restaurants.
SPEAKER_03And the site of where it all began.
SPEAKER_01And the site where it all began. Exactly. I was looking for your statue. Didn't see it. Yeah, well, they tore it down. They tore that shit down. The mouth cancer call, cancer call.
SPEAKER_02The far right, the lunatic far right, tore down my statues.
SPEAKER_01Tore down my statue. Tore down my statue.
SPEAKER_02They went down and they throw down the statue.
SPEAKER_01They're melting down the statues. Yeah, but um um, but that was cool. Clems in South Carolina was cool as fuck. Really cool spot. It would go back just for the bar scene there, but I think it would be different because there were so many like older heads at the bars for the concert. If you just went during like a college thing, it might be a little bit too much. I think it would just be less fun because it would be so many like young, cool southern college guys there. Trying to impress the other Southern bells. Exactly. I would just feel like a huge chungus.
SPEAKER_03Huge chungus. Nah, dude, you'd be.
SPEAKER_04We're too old to be going to college bars.
SPEAKER_03You'd be the guy with the pinstripe suit on being.
SPEAKER_01That would be, I would have to properly dress for that pinstripe suit.
SPEAKER_03Sell you a shovel because you're a carpet bagger.
SPEAKER_01Yes, exactly. So I'd be like, no, Southern gentlemen, so reconstruction.
SPEAKER_02Reconstruction. We gotta build these roads from all my Yankee brothers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. That are as again, we said, Nathan, we've said this once before, you being a Southern boy, we gotta move down south. We're smarter than those idiots. That'll never do that.
SPEAKER_03I cannot imagine a place I would relate to less than uh, but that's we the American South.
SPEAKER_01We use them as our thralls. You're the mouthpiece, I'm the brains, and then that's when we start our militia.
SPEAKER_03There's already like a huge group of you know, a pre-established group of you know, white evangelicals who are using southern people as thralls already. No, we can we have a whole new niche.
SPEAKER_01A whole new niche.
SPEAKER_02And we've got we lived in the north. We know its weaknesses. We know its weaknesses. We stop putting cream cheese on the bagels, they won't be able to stop eating them. We poison the cream cheese.
SPEAKER_03Goddamn cream cheese.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. Well, we all know you like butter. Butter way more than cream cheese.
SPEAKER_01They're preserves, that's where we'll get them. Preserves. Yeah, protect the margarine, poison the cream cheese. Poison the cream cheese, exactly. Yeah, and that's that that's what I mean. We already know their weaknesses. You have brunch anywhere, they'll flock to it. And that's where then we poison the brunch spots. Everyone loves a good brunch. I think people like brunch, but regardless. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I don't consider brunch a southern staple. It's a New York City stable. It's a state.
SPEAKER_01Everyone loves brunch, dude. I don't think I don't think they like they like early to go to the southern. They like breakfast, lunch, dinner, and supper. Yeah. Ian already knows. Ian's gonna be part of this think tank. We just need the southern man to be on this dude.
SPEAKER_04Somebody who was bold.
SPEAKER_01They're not gonna Us Yankee no goods. They're gonna eventually, when you are exposed, be like, with the puppeteer!
SPEAKER_02Yankee puppeteer!
SPEAKER_01Go pull out my birth certificate and it wouldn't say Greens Greensville, South Carolina. They didn't even really spell out the full state, just Caroline. Turns out Nathan's real name is Nathan Leopold.
SPEAKER_02Leopold Leopold Leopold a Morregot Celador.
SPEAKER_01Cellador Absalar Ruth III. Exactly. And then be like, and be like, hmm, exactly. And they just ad lib that in. They're like, the mom and dad said what's your name? We're like, yeah, okay. Leopold, Constantine, you know. Yeah. Yeah, and you exactly. And you would be the face. And with your kind of like flowy California hair, they would it would be disarming. Because you're not like big, you're not a big fat, like you did the gravy.
SPEAKER_04I think he might have to clean up for the southern crowd.
SPEAKER_01Now long they like Trevor Lawrence. Trevor Lawrence, um uh touchdown Jesus is from Clemson.
SPEAKER_04See, I I'm imagining more of like a televangelist.
SPEAKER_01Maybe you'd get me in like a we'd have to clean your hair and like make it straight. A nice uh like comb it once. A nice Tennessee tuxedo, dude. Tennessee tuxedo with the hair parted in the middle on the shoulder. A nice cowboy hat. Cowboy hat would be sick with the bolo tie, some sapphire in tasteful places. I mean, yeah, I guess nice um a nice, a nice ring, nice toe pad. The green one. Old American convertible turquoise with the longhorns, horns or torquies, big Buick or something. Yeah, some huge we need a Hummerzine. And you just carry around all the underprivileged. Classic, classic cars. Or F-150. Back when America uses Hummer. Yeah, you would need to have a truck. You need to have a truck. Chevy Silverado. A couple trucks, yeah. You need some trucks, definitely need a fleet of trucks, right? SM 15 Hundo. Come on. How good did we look in that freaking Dodge or the RAM, whatever we got with it? Ram one's big, dude.
SPEAKER_03I don't like driving big trucks, though, dude.
SPEAKER_01That's why I drove the monster. You drove it a couple times. Well, you don't say that for driving work in the same way.
SPEAKER_03I drove it one time, but uh, I don't like I drive it at work every time. Bigger is better. Bigger is better. I hate it.
SPEAKER_02Makes you feel like more of a man.
SPEAKER_01No, dude, I hate it. It's a powerful vehicle. It's just more liable. Are you a powerful man? Well, well, well, yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah, well, you seem like this vehicle might not be powerful enough for you. I think we need it fully loaded. I think you're right. Your wife's gonna lack those heated seats. She'll stop bitching at you so much. Well, I do hate when she be bitching. I do hate. Women are cold. Yeah. Got heated seats. Exactly. Because they took that rib from us. Am I right, my God fearing Christian brother?
SPEAKER_04Fearing, brother.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I do fear God. And we would have to you'd have to pull a little bit of the religion card. Of course. Exactly. He's actually saying, I would like to rule this place, but there's only one true ruler, and that is our Lord and Christ, Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus William Christ. Jesus William Christ. Exactly. No freaking Middle Eastern Middle Name. Not who's saying that.
SPEAKER_00Not who's saying Christ.
SPEAKER_01That, or you totally do the flip, because I feel like religious maybe is still stronger there. But you start asking for Jesus' birth certificates. He is not the true Lord. Jesus was an image. I am the true Lord. I was born. I have my limit yourself so much. No, I don't know. Every cult leader eventually says that they're Jesus.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. I think El Ron Hubbard did okay. He did do pretty good. How do we feel about the guys running, speedrunning into Scientology?
SPEAKER_01I'm a big fan of it.
SPEAKER_04I just realized what happened to Shelly.
SPEAKER_01Shelly Miss Cavage? Yeah. She's fucking dead as hell, dude, somewhere. We don't know that. Disappeared. Was she a dissenter? Well, she was uh David. She's David Miss Cavage is the new leader of Scientology, and his wife has been missing a very long time. Seems like the leader of Scientology would be able to figure that one out, huh? She's dead as fuck because he had her killed somewhere. Definitely. Cool stuff. That's real cool stuff. That's real cool stuff. Yeah, I do like the exposure.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah. Well, they pay off the cops all the time. They showed them a woman, and they're like, Alright. That's her.
SPEAKER_00Could be.
SPEAKER_01We gotta go find her. She's somewhere. She's somewhere. Could be anywhere, technically. Could be anywhere. The world's huge. You want us to look all over? Yeah. All under? All under? We're not looking under. That's where we stop our search. No, 90% of the ocean's unexplored. That's what I mean. I think we could. Where do we start?
SPEAKER_04Where do we start? Oh yeah, dude. If we're not gonna fucking Zoro Ranch, we're not checking for Michelle.
SPEAKER_01We don't eventually get you to be Jesus. American Jesus? Come on. Turns out Jesus was born right here.
SPEAKER_02No, yeah, right here. American, right here, in Greensville, South Carolina! Nah, dude. The second I mean Hey, speak a throne!
SPEAKER_03Religion is big, but like the second you start saying that you're Jesus, that's when you start. Like, I feel like that's a good idea. That's when you get to limit yourself.
SPEAKER_04You limit yourself to the true followers.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes, it's but yeah, I mean you lose, I don't know, you lose your credibility. You could maybe say, like, you work miracles, you work talk to Jesus or like you know penanteller in this.
SPEAKER_01I think I think a pen and teller. I do think we if we got I think if you went Jesus was an immigrant, I think if you did Jesus was an immigrant, I think we could get some heel turners.
SPEAKER_02I think we could get people like he was born in Jerusalem, and those we sent so much money to those motherfuckers.
SPEAKER_04And where did he spend 30 years? Bethlehem.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm not spending time in Bethlehem. I didn't see no Jesus. I didn't see no Jesus. I was in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Bethlehem Heads of America, Zarith.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01I was in the whole American Holy Land. Plenty of Jesus. Yes, exactly. Surrounded by Jesus's I've seen I've walked through all colors and I've decided which one was the best.
SPEAKER_02That's why I'm back here in the green spill.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how much luck you'd have with that, to be honest with you.
SPEAKER_01It's not how much luck we'd have, it's how much luck you'd have with us behind you, with our help, exactly. Yeah, maybe with help, because I mean uh You would need and then dude, oh my, we just get a couple. I find that bar that bartender games call me baby. We we have her is that why we're doing this? Head back. I gotta get back there. I gotta get back there. She's waiting for me before any means necessary. No, I know we get there, and we then I tell her, I'm not sure. I told you this is Nate's thing. This is Nate's. No, we got then we have to like we buzz her head, nail her head, and she's like, Oh, I'm not feeling I'm not feeling so hot. No, not burner scalp, nail her head, make all her hair fall out, and then you freaking grow her hair back, and it's like, I lost all my hair. How was it? Like, you just because you see it. You see this nice lady lost her hair in the south. That's worse than death. And then like, I don't know where you're getting all her. You gotta start working miracles. That's what I'm saying. We gotta start working the fake miracles.
SPEAKER_03But that's just growing somebody's hair back, dude. People be like, but people think it's at the rate of time.
SPEAKER_01But we we have to we Photoshop AI a bunch of her where she's been bald forever.
SPEAKER_04She's been in cancer, you know. She's been bald forever. Bald forever. She's been bald forever.
SPEAKER_01We showed baby showed baby pictures, bald since the day she was born.
SPEAKER_03Completely defeats the purpose of going to Greenville to meet a stranger that has potentially lived there for years, who people know that is not have not been bald forever. No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_01Well, those people we silence make more sense to like bring someone in who could have a face. Well, we could do that too. And then like, I mean we could do that too. You think Natasha would listen to her hair off?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like I don't know. I really I'm not really thinking that the miracle of like seems like you have had a man do well.
SPEAKER_01Of hair growth is like a miracle, to be honest with you. We could just get guys who have male patterned bodness and just ship them the turkey and come back with hair, and that's the magic.
SPEAKER_03You make the arms longer, or you make the legs longer. Yes, or you go with the back. I do like that.
SPEAKER_01That's the real those are the real tricks, dude, where you just like get the pr and you just like you know, I'm I'm coming johto grow. GROM We just need to get that African guy who's the I ain't gay no more. I was I just got that malgorm again. You know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_06I think I'd see that I ain't gay no more. I ain't like men no more.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. I should send you guys a bunch of videos. I don't know if I've ever showed you those, but there's a bunch of very the African priests who are doing or reviving the person from the dead, and this man was dead on Friday.
SPEAKER_02Now he is alive!
SPEAKER_04So we're bringing that to America. Honestly, some of that stuff is so cool. Yes, yes. Some of that stuff is so cool.
SPEAKER_01And even and what we in the very fine Jesus name. In the very, very, very, very fine white font print on the white pamphlet, we do say this is a dramatic realization.
SPEAKER_04Yo, yeah. In white print on a white paper. Exactly. It's there. It's there. It's there. We did some weird text to speech somewhere on our website. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Then you get it all.
SPEAKER_03You do do something like that, or you you make it so like it's it's there. You're not culpable for any like, you know, any misgivings.
SPEAKER_01I'm not lying. It's all this was all dramatization.
SPEAKER_03Dramatic realization.
SPEAKER_01Dramatic realization. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I like because that means nothing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I do like that verbiage. This is dramatic realization. Oh my god. It's a dramatic realization.
SPEAKER_02That would just be like a realized.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I like that. Dramatic realization might be the name of the episode, but I think that that's good. We have something. There's something there.
SPEAKER_03You could use that for literally anything. It's like, you know, you hand like a bank teller a note that says like give me all your money, and then when they call the cops, you get is it was a dramatic realization.
SPEAKER_01It was a dramatic realization. Yes. And they're like, huh? I say you have been delivered! Therefore, I am free to go. Yeah, for I am free to go. Nothing I do has consequence. You're welcome. What would be, Ian, if you had to start a little culty, what would be your um uh would we believe in your angle? What's your angle? I could see you being a uh a Buddhist faction of America. American Buddhist faction.
SPEAKER_04A little bit of a you know, we want to hit that hedonism because that's what everybody kind of wants to do. Whatever.
SPEAKER_01Is that what you want? Uh just hedonism.
SPEAKER_04Well, that's the draw, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you don't have to follow rules.
SPEAKER_04Our rules are no rules. A little off the grid, you know. America's so bad right now.
SPEAKER_01You no longer I get to sleep with all your wives, you don't get to sleep with any of your wives.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that doesn't make sense. But you can have one. Right, you can have one, but it's mine. It's our ours. Ours. And by ours I mean mine. Right. Yeah. So draw them with some heatonism. Heaton is everybody.
SPEAKER_01So you could do so Buddha, but just it's like it's about truly it's about the money. Because if you had the money, you can make everything. Your worldly possessions to me. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I take care of them because I don't want you to have to worry about them.
SPEAKER_04We bought a compound, right? Yeah, compound's paid for. Now we just need members.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we need members, and by giving all your worldly possessions to me, now you no longer have to I have now taken the worry of worldly possessions away from you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, if you only have to work maybe two days a week out on the fields or whatever.
SPEAKER_01Two days out of the week on the fields on top of your eight hour a day, five days a week job, because we still need money.
SPEAKER_04Well, if they give me all the world, I invest that stuff, you know.
SPEAKER_01You're investing their paychecks. They don't have they have no bills.
SPEAKER_04But that money grow our own stuff. Yeah, but it's probably gonna be ass. Yeah, it's not gonna be great. Yeah, again, that's not my fucking problem. That's not my fucking problem. I'm not gonna be worried about money.
SPEAKER_01Well, he's like, You guys are talking about being the puppet master and eight. You guys have my back on here. You guys fucking figure it out, dude. We've been trying to farm goldfish for livestock. It's not fucking working.
SPEAKER_00I thought that it was cute. Goldfish farm for food and profit. Yeah. We got we have we got 20% of the carney market, dude.
SPEAKER_01You know how much these shits are worth? Nothing worse than. Almost nothing.
SPEAKER_00We give them away all my. So many gold bags.
SPEAKER_02Dude, they're popping them like candies. We can't do it. They're so small. I thought these were coy.
SPEAKER_01It's mostly bones.
SPEAKER_02Mostly bones.
SPEAKER_00Not a lot of nutrients.
SPEAKER_02Everyone's ass is fucking ragged.
SPEAKER_00Ragged from shitting all these fucking bones. Fish bones, your monkey lumpy eyes. Yeah. It's mostly eyeballs. We're dude, we're cooked, we're cooked. This is such a bad call. Bad call, back all.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Feeder fish. Feeder fish are chip. What if we just ate feeder fish?
SPEAKER_04Again, once it goes off the rails, everybody's gotta die.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's the thing. Once you start losing grip, is when you do the mass suicides for sure. So I can't. The walls are closing in. Yeah, you're like, oh god, all my loyalist followers. Yeah. And I do feel like the mass um uh Patrick Swayze is just everyone feels so stupid for getting this far with like, God damn it, I guess we gotta fucking do this. Yeah, yeah. I can't, yeah, I've lost too much. Yeah, there's no way we can just like go back to basically. This guy has all my worldly possessions, and I've beat eating goldfish for five years. Yeah, like I can't just go back to fucking living in a one-room apartment.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, start from scratch.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like it's I'm fucking 45 years old. I'm 45 years old. I have two kids who were born in this cult. I don't know where they are because he renames everyone every other month. So we have no idea what anyone's name is.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. I do think the best way is to go some crazy sort of actually an ancient alien fucking like you gotta give them something they don't know about. And that's what works so well with El Ron, dude. You gotta fucking pay to get to the next level, dude.
SPEAKER_01That's like the it's a classic elitist thing, though.
SPEAKER_04Your brain cannot fucking comprehend what I'm about to tell you.
SPEAKER_01I'm about to tell you.
SPEAKER_04So you gotta pay me to learn it to get up to that level.
SPEAKER_01You know, I could see that with like especially with spiritualism. Because I just think the alien woo-woo stuff loses so many people so quick.
SPEAKER_04It wouldn't be aliens necessarily.
SPEAKER_01I'm thinking spiritual. Where you'd be like, all right, we're on another spiritual plane. You wanna learn to astral project for forgotten science.
SPEAKER_03If you mixed aliens and angels together, you'd probably pick up some people.
SPEAKER_01What I would do is, and I think what I will what I will do is if I ever win the lottery, I will say I did it via astral projection into the future to find those nominals. I'll show you how to do that. You can win the next lottery. It took me years of discipline, practice, and paying myself. So the only person you really can pay is me.
SPEAKER_04I know somebody else who won the lottery.
SPEAKER_01This would have cost me millions of dollars. Two million dollars. But luckily, I was he's our prophet, he's our guy. I was able to do it. Is he a big enough pansy that we could get him to possibly chill?
SPEAKER_04I don't think he wants people to know. I am not supposed to know. But you know, but I know because people can't keep their fucking mouths shut, dude.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, as most of the time, the only safe secrets between two people, and one of them gotta be dead.
SPEAKER_03Or if you said, dude, this took me 75 years to learn how to do to astro project myself back in time to the body of me when I was this year's old to you know to win the city.
SPEAKER_01To give myself a message that's even smarter. Past self told me, yes, but you have to be old as shit to do it, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I can do it faster, and you know, you gotta start practicing now. It would take five years, but it'll cost you a lot of money.
SPEAKER_01Now, what I would even do is even better, because this is the ultimate catch-all, is I would say you have to start a cult where at the moment of death I was able to go back in time to put myself into my current body, infinite life, yeah, infinite life, because you're able to keep on going back then with my knowledge, and now, and then I would be like, now I'm two people, I'm future Ryan and my current Ryan, and now we work tangentially. So then anyone who's like, Alright, so they have to go up until they die, and that's the belief is that when they die, they'll be able to go back to a previous time, and then no one's gonna fact check you because they're fucking dead as shit. Because you're fucking dead as shit, and when they die, if they die currently in the cult, they went back in time. Who's gonna who's gonna fact check that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're good now, bro.
SPEAKER_01You'll fucking see them, you'll see them later. And anytime someone gets a come up once in their life in the cult, it's because their past self died and helped them. You'd be like, did past self- and I'm like, Ian, did past self help you with when you almost stepped on a crack and broke your mother's back, but you didn't? Like, yeah, I think he did.
SPEAKER_03I had an insight that I should do this, and it was that's your conscience, bro. It's your past.
SPEAKER_01And those people are starting to ascend. And then you have your inner circle, it's finally working. Your inner circle, you start helping because you can kind of promote good luck, I feel like, with the right assets. You can start making things happen. Yeah, you can do like some pop. He just gotta you got that promotion. He got approved for a loan, blah blah blah, whatever. Your inner circle, you start promoting them, they're ascended, and you're like, dude, I think this was fucking works. Yeah, I mean, that's truly what you would do.
SPEAKER_04You would try to like and if shit goes bad, it's like this is all because for a reason, you know.
SPEAKER_01Like, I think I think in the future, I think in the future we're dying before we can ascend. Yeah, we have to change the world because our our leaders are dying too soon.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're not ascending fast enough, we're not having enough time. They'll be like, well, now now you know, dude. Now next time around, this will never happen again. Yes, you know, now you're low back. Way to go, yeah. Things will be so much easier.
SPEAKER_01When you when you ascend back. And you're gonna do that when we have open cans and open bottles on the ground. I'm about to go fucking crazy. You did not ascend yet, obviously, Ian. Future self would have told you not to do that.
SPEAKER_04Future self forgot about that one.
SPEAKER_02Slipped up, I slipped up, made a bit of a fucking whoopsie.
SPEAKER_01Well, anytime you do a whoopsie, it would be future self told me I needed to have that blunder as a growth point.
SPEAKER_04Is Future Me supposed to write down?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I can't remember. If Future Me doesn't remember, he knows the major crux points.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01The only thing is when they started asking me who won the Super Bowl, he doesn't remember.
SPEAKER_03I think if Future Me. Who was sick that day? Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01He doesn't remember. I don't remember. And then I would have to get blackout drunk that day because future self says you need to get that's the inf this is the critical inflection point in for his future.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, names and numbers don't travel across time that well. Yeah, they don't.
SPEAKER_01It's really just the major thing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's just like the feeling, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'm still I'm still learning how to do that now for my next future self. At least you at level two right now.
SPEAKER_03You level two. Coming like this, coming like this.
SPEAKER_00Yep, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's that's my angle. Definitely gotta do something where you transcend after death so no one can prove you wrong.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and then just that's how religion fucking stuff.
SPEAKER_01That is kind of how religion works, because when you die, you get to the super place.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, when you die, then everything you've done pays off.
SPEAKER_01Then yeah, were you super good and didn't question anything we told you? Just gotta wait until you die. Yeah. He's up in heaven now, thank goodness.
SPEAKER_04And the pe oh yeah. If we can get something close to like religion, where we know something's gonna happen, your blood front. Your blood front? Yeah, your brain floods with endorphins and shit, so you see like white lights and shit, you know, you know.
SPEAKER_01That's just that's just the body chemistry, bro. Your brain's trying to say alive. DMT, just drugs, just hard hallucinogens. And that's the thing. If we do well enough, the CIA comes to us and is like, I really like what you guys are doing. This we need a we need a slice of the pie and you gotta start made and like you gotta start shilling for Israel. I'm like, I do think there's something. I think Israel's helping us as anything.
SPEAKER_03I do think there is something to that though. If you just like unwillingly or unknowingly um drug people with like LSD, just like even slightly.
SPEAKER_04They did that though.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I know that's like that's an old school, you know, that's not new, but like if you have like a group of dudes and then like just kind of like said, like, you know, I cast a spell on you boys. You do a ritual, classic. And people will be like, holy crap, this dude just fucking.
SPEAKER_01I think this guy cast a spell on me, bro, because I feel weird. Yeah, and you have to say and you have to preface it with you cannot share your experience with anyone else, otherwise, it will diminish the experience.
SPEAKER_03And especially if you did that to like some squares, bro. I feel like you could either really fuck some people up in like a bad way where they'd go crazy, or you would like to be like, I think this guy might be magic.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's what the US government was doing when they were testing LSD. Yeah, yeah. They weren't telling people to drink that water. There's spiders on the wall.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's like, you know, perfect. Yeah. Um, but I this is gonna be great to put in chemtrails. It'd be too unpredictable, I feel. You would really need to kind of like know what you were doing.
SPEAKER_01You gotta the ultimate flim flammer, bro.
SPEAKER_03You gotta be, you gotta roll with the punches, or have like such a good, like engaging show that like it wouldn't let people have time to be like freak out or ultimate darkness retreat, bro.
SPEAKER_01Be like darkness and restrained retreat and ultimate sense, like sensory deprivation. Do that, people kind of go wild in their minds, go wild, especially subliminally give them shit.
SPEAKER_03I was thinking, especially if you did it in like the guise of like religion and shit, just be like, you know, like, oh my god, you're possessed by the Holy Spirit. Yeah, people would be like, Oh my god, I think I'm actually possessed by the thing.
SPEAKER_01I think they were doing that in the ancient times when they were eating bad food. I think so. But if you did that again, bro, like just I don't know, man. I feel like that would be like a very easy way to like the only problem is that people can do blood tests now and they would be able to test your blood and be like, you had LSD in your blood.
SPEAKER_03You would think you really need to work it out that like it would take a lot, it would take a lot of charisma on top of it.
SPEAKER_01So you have people believe in not because that's the thing. You have the classic Houdini skeptics who would eventually try to go in your we would rush my base for TikTok, and they would see that on the you know, freaking farm and chemical.
SPEAKER_03Fucked.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_04No, yeah. It looks like LSD on a blood test.
SPEAKER_01On a blood test.
SPEAKER_04That's how powerful that's actually.
SPEAKER_01And that's why you would be you would say it's not an LSD, it's actually the Mitachlorans. Yeah, his Mitachlorion count is huge. You actually might be coming a Jedi. I don't know why people haven't done that yet. Because there's enough stuff. Why are people not looking for Jedi's and testing for Mitachlorans? Because they're not real. They don't exist, bro. There's no test that works.
SPEAKER_02We could get someone to say that they're real.
SPEAKER_04We're counting white blood cells, call them something else.
SPEAKER_02That's what the that's what the That's why the livestream media AIDS is the ultimate Jedi killer. It's the Jedi killer is AIDS.
SPEAKER_04It's also just the killer, but you just need to call shit other things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you can just call shit other things. I don't know why people don't do that. The might your Mitochlorion is the power south. What is it? The mitochondria? The powerhouse is not how many Mitochlorins? The powerhouse of the force. Right, right, right. Exactly. We would just be getting those little freaking Liam Neeson um uh like stickers get in someone's blood screens like he might be the chosen one.
SPEAKER_04Sorry, there's no easy way to tell you this while your metaclory count is below 200.
SPEAKER_01It's gonna take a lot of work, a lot of counseling, and a lot of training. A lot of training. And it's like, and then you get people like the biggest regript truly is you're not getting adults. You're getting adults to buy into it for their kids. You tell that their kid is special, and then they pay so much money for their kid to go through the youngling training. Yes. Because then you're telling and then some guys like, oh, you're telling me my kid, chrysanthemum, is going to be a Jedi. And they're like, Yeah, I'm not gonna say I'm saying he could be the night um uh Kid Fistu. Yes. Not the best one, but one, yes. Next Kiati. Yeah, that any any of them. Name any Jedi. Yeah, you go deep lore, cut deep. You're like, he could, yes, I think he might be the next job of the hut. Next Ploa's not even a Jedi dude. So you think of him. You never saw Java Hutt didn't raise his hands too much. I don't know him as good as you do. I had the big cone head guy.
SPEAKER_04This is a dude with a bald and he has like the glasses.
SPEAKER_01And like the face thing on, Plocoon.
SPEAKER_03That's Plo Food.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that was Nate's favorite guy.
SPEAKER_03I think you had the action figure.
SPEAKER_01I had Kit Fist. That's why I know Kit Fist too because I had his action figure. You had Plocoon's action figure.
SPEAKER_04Kid Fisto, the dude, the green dude.
SPEAKER_01The green, yeah, tentacle head guy. That guy was sick. He was very cool, liked him a lot.
SPEAKER_04Still looking at buying. Uh Salacious B chrome.
SPEAKER_01Nice, you should. What the fuck is that? What is Salacious B chrom?
unknownCome on.
SPEAKER_04Everybody's favorite Kawaki and Monkey Lizard. I was gonna say Capapucha and Monkey Lizard.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh, the puppet? Yeah, the puppet uh pajama. Yeah. He's still in the market, honestly. It's anyone's game at this point. That's when you gotta go to the eBay seller and be like, look, my Midachlorian count is through the roof. I think I need this. Yeah, you might have to hit that and be like, and then he's like, test it, and we'll just Photoshop a fake lab report. Picture of me going like this? And then I just throw a can. You don't need money for this purchase.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you don't need anything for this purchase.
SPEAKER_01You're going to give this to me. You're gonna send this to me and forget my there's no there's no droids in this car. Like, there aren't any droids in this car, exactly. Exactly exactly. It's working.
SPEAKER_04That's what we need, the fucking confusion.
SPEAKER_01If you could have the confusion, your Jedi Mind tricks Your Jedi Mind Tricks don't work on me. Federal credits will work.
SPEAKER_02No, Imperial Credits will not work.
SPEAKER_01Space Jew crazy. Yeah, did not work. It did not the Jedi Mind tricks did not work on the Space Jew as they would not. Yeah, as they would not. They're the chosen people. He would not. I think like And in many, like in a far-off place many years away. What is it? A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Yeah. They they have a similar resemblance. Some kind of pig people with a long schnau.
SPEAKER_04I think fucking George went a little crazy on a lot of those characters. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03No, I mean that definitely was a very anti-Semitic character. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, and they got the Japanese dudes too.
SPEAKER_01What Japanese guy?
SPEAKER_04They were like Is it the Pancake Kid? No, the red-eyed green. Oh, the Trading Federation. Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Some when I those throid the guns. That's what I'm saying. These are definitely. Yeah, yeah, they're definitely the Chinese. The Trade Federation. Yeah, the Trade Federation. Newt Gunray. Yeah. Is he like one of the main guys from the Trade Federation?
SPEAKER_02Yes, Emperor Badama.
SPEAKER_01Princess Amadala.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02We will not stop the blockade.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like that's that's just classic stuff. That's good stuff. And because you know what? Because George Lucas, unlike um uh Scientology guy, Aran Hubby, he could he was taken from source. He was taking things that he liked. He's like from source. He's taken from source. He's like, oh, who who would be funny to be the bad guys? Space Asians, yes.
SPEAKER_04Space Asians, probably.
SPEAKER_01Probably are you talking about that one guy on Instagram who does you're sounding like that guy.
SPEAKER_04He's trying to be George Lucas.
SPEAKER_01Uh trying to be George Lucas. No, there's like this guy on Instagram who like he's pretending he's like at a board meeting and he's like, and what if we made the bad guys space agents? He's like, or what if we like I'm all and like he would do like a Yu-Gi-Oh one, it's like, and when they would start, they would say, It's time to pardon me for stuttering. Wait, that's genius. No, that's good stuff.
SPEAKER_04Why are they gonna get gunga money?
SPEAKER_01That gunga. What if the Gogolac pit was a pit of no return? But yet he returned.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I don't know. I like Star Wars, it's cool.
SPEAKER_01Star Wars is cool, it's getting a lot of heat, but George Lucas finally shilled out to Disney where they said they're just gonna rewrite it so they can go back because no one likes the new shit. They're just gonna make new fake stories about Luke Skywalker.
SPEAKER_04The new fake story about Darth Maul was pretty alright. Yeah. I didn't see it, but it I heard it was good. Alright, yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's alright. I said because everyone likes everyone likes Darth Maul because they want to know what's his backstory. Yeah, exactly. What's his steez? Yeah, what's his steezing about? And he's got stees. And he's got stees, hella stees. Yeah, I figured he's a pretty cool dude if he was, you know, the guy with a double-sided lightsaber. Double sided lightsaber is cool. Although the cooler your lightsaber, the worse you are. I just think that's kind of become a fact. Kylo Wren, one of the lamest dudes in the world, had all the Mighty Chlorians because he was um uh Padman or Layla and Count Dooku and Ponsolo's Leia, that's what I'm thinking of.
SPEAKER_03But uh Kyle Dooku had the different lightsaber. It was kind of like a curve, but he was lightly.
SPEAKER_01But he was lit, though. He was lit. Because it was a slight change. It wasn't like, but the main guys Anakin, Obi, Darth. Yoda had like a little baby lightsaber. But it was the same. Slight change, not a mega change. Double side lightsaber got punked. He didn't even last one movie. Yeah, he got punked. Get slashed by the apprentice freaking Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan's Beast. Obi-Wan's Beast. Obi-Wan is very out sweet as fuck. Unmodded lightsaber. Yeah, Obi-Wan's Beast. Unmodded lightsaber. I mean, I don't know. Double side lightsaber.
SPEAKER_03But I mean, low-key though, if you think about it, dog, like Darth Maul was fighting against Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jin at the same time.
SPEAKER_01But didn't Qui-Quan let him get I thought Qui-Kwan let himself get kicked. He got trapped behind the force field walls. Obi-Wan did.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and then we had to get 1v1 and Qui-Gon knew he couldn't beat him, so he fucking died.
SPEAKER_01But I thought he let him go down just like Obi-Wan did. No, no way. So that his apprentice could become stronger. Nah. Well, also because Obi-Wan knew he couldn't beat again, he couldn't beat Darth Vader. I didn't think he did. He saw Luke see him and was like, and I because I do think Jedi's realize you gotta have a little bit of hate. As much as Yoda was like, hate, but he's too suffered for hating.
SPEAKER_03What was it, bro? Um Qui-Gon Jin got fucking killed, but Obi-Wan like Yoda, because when Yoda died, he disappeared. Obi-Wan also disappeared. So he could turn into a force ghost.
SPEAKER_01But so does Qui-Quan. Qui-quan turns into a fork ghost. He doesn't, bro. Yes, he does at the end. He's dead as shit. I thought he turned into a ghost when they remastered when they burnt Anakin. Anakin comes back, bro. Oh, Annie.
SPEAKER_03Annie Bobani! Hayden Christensen comes back.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah, which is just stop touching the movie. You know. Nah, I like Christensen, bro. I like Caden Christmas stuff.
SPEAKER_01Keep talking, Star Wars. I gotta piss.
SPEAKER_04I'm sorry. More Star Wars.
SPEAKER_01This is Star Wars hour. How long are we on the podcast? Premier.
SPEAKER_04Allentown Star Wars podcast. What was that uh blue guy in the Mandalorian? I guess. Blue guy in the Mandalorian. He's a bounty hunter.
SPEAKER_03Oh, fucking Cad Bain, dude, from the fucking Clone Boys, dude. Yeah, they brought him up.
SPEAKER_04Happy to see him on Live Screen TV. It was a very uh cleaning to the type character.
SPEAKER_03I think that's what they're trying to have. Like, you know, fucking like the cowboy with his big old hat and shit. I've got to stop watching around that point in time.
SPEAKER_04That's not a good time. Because then you just get a bad CGI of old people trying to look young.
SPEAKER_03Well, they have fucking the old dudes in that shit.
SPEAKER_04That's crazy.
SPEAKER_01I think I do know what you're talking about, bro. Yeah, that that did look fucking wild.
SPEAKER_04You never can do it, good. Nah, they can't do it yet.
SPEAKER_01What make the young's young look young? The old look young.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, they're not. Even Hayden Christensen and the Obi-Wan show. You can't, there's some things you can't hide.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, because they're doing like I I don't understand why Sora has better face reconstruction than Hollyweird, but Bro, for real though. Yeah, we can make Nathan do a lot of mean things in India, but we can't get Hayden uh people to look kinda younger. Yeah, yeah, I don't know how that's possible.
SPEAKER_04They try to bring back Grandma Tarkin, bro, in uh that one movie.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. See, you're talking French to me now at this point.
SPEAKER_04Grandmoth Tarkin.
SPEAKER_01Grandma Tarkin? Grandma Tarkin. Everybody knows everyone knows Mima Tarkin.
SPEAKER_04That old guy for the Empire in the original films. He died, and then they brought him back in the Rogue One movie, but he was straight CGI.
SPEAKER_01Is he like just one of like the general guys? Yeah. See, why bring guys back who I don't care about? Just recast someone now.
SPEAKER_04You don't care, the fans care.
SPEAKER_01Fanfare, I think they would like good movies better than they would like ass movies with Easter egg callbacks.
SPEAKER_04What you're saying is Star Wars needs more fan service.
SPEAKER_01Needs less. Needs less. It needs more just good writing and movies that make any kind of fucking sense.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so they're just poorly done CGI people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like see that guy, that guy's from the old movie. You like that, don't you? Yeah, that could help. Yeah. I do like there's not enough bikinis and freaking um uh Star Wars.
SPEAKER_04The last time they did that was Leia.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that was in the originals, that's why people still freaking loved it. Loved it. Suck that shit all. Yeah, oh my god. Why wouldn't you? And why wouldn't you? I just do think that I don't know if that's even even if you have now all they still it's we got an army of gooners who would love Star Wars.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah, that's why Marvel Rivals is so popular, dude.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's nothing but just fucking unseenly women. Yeah. Disgusting.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, just it's a weird time for Gooners, I'll tell you what.
SPEAKER_01Well, because it's the time, it's not a weird time, it's a time for gooners. It's the time. It's the time. I think eventually Gen, what's the newest gen? Gen Z, the zoomers? Gen A, probably. Gen A. Gen A is gonna be the Gooner generation. Gooner generation. Goon generation. Which I think I'll be honest, it's it's not the worst thing to be known as. I'd rather be known as a Gooner than a boomer.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Because boomers were just Gooners before they had the word for it. Oh, thanks. Because all the every 80s movie.
SPEAKER_04What are they gooning to?
SPEAKER_01American Pie Pamela Anderson.
SPEAKER_04Boomers. We're talking about 50s, 60s.
SPEAKER_01The same thing. Pamela Anderson, Baywatch, that was nothing but fan service. I don't know. No magoonin'. Nothing but goonin.
SPEAKER_04It's a more aggressive, I'll call it these days.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, not I guess. But it's all that's thing. Anime's gotta they gotta.
SPEAKER_04I would say anime's toned it down, if anything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it's more normies are watching it. Yeah. They're trying they have done it back a little bit. You're never gonna have another Achilla Kill. You're never gonna have another like Guren Logan with um whatever face is. Gurren Logan was pretty tame though. They had the fire bikin girl.
SPEAKER_04It was yeah, it was only her though. And but kill a kill was just the entire thing. Yes. But such a good story behind it.
SPEAKER_01It's a school. It's high school, man. I know you like you fucking you fucking sick gooner.
SPEAKER_02No. No. Don't come in there! Don't come in here! I'm watching my show!
SPEAKER_04The life fibers, bro. Yeah, alright, I don't know. I don't need to prove my. I gotta prove nothing here.
SPEAKER_02I gotta prove why I'm not.
SPEAKER_04I know why I'm right. I know why I'm right. It'd be too much life fibers to cover the whole body. There's a there's a reason, Dean. You sick for There's a reason I have to goon. There's a reason I have to go.
SPEAKER_01Zero gooning.
SPEAKER_05Zero. No, there was not. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_01You gotta explain it to me. Just gotta explain it to yourself. Born to die, live to goon. But then we got to go. Forced to live, born to go.
SPEAKER_04We got the classics like DBZ Naruto Zero Goon. Zero. Nah, they still have fucking gooning.
SPEAKER_01Naruto is very light. Naruto's got light fan service with the sesju. Where it's just like a where it's a and also just have like Hinate's kind of like you just want to know what's going on underneath the fishnets. The one sensei's got fishnets.
SPEAKER_03Very, very light gooning. And only again it and mainly in the beginning one, but it's hook in, and then you're waiting for him to do it again. But come on, man.
SPEAKER_01It's gooning, but he is like a 12-year-old boy, which Yes, which is only makes the goon hard.
SPEAKER_04Hooks in and then you stay for the Rasengon surigan. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Exactly, exactly. And you're like, all right, now I gotta see. When's he gonna do the sexy juicy Rasengan?
SPEAKER_03Full metal alchemist, very little goony.
SPEAKER_04Very little goonie. Any that I remember at all. Lust, maybe, but that's it. Yeah, but she's lust. She's gotta be.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm trying to think. Not too much goons there. Turn in the bacon pretty much. They're not all. I'm not saying all. Clearly not saying all. And honestly, the better written it is, the less you need that.
SPEAKER_04And I feel like you need it. Period. You don't need it, period.
SPEAKER_01I agree. But I do think just ingrained in that culture, they need to have at least one scantily clad person on screen.
SPEAKER_04If that used to be the case, I think that's less so now.
SPEAKER_01Coming even less now. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I would agree. Because it is more accepted.
SPEAKER_01But there are still some. Like Chainsaw Man, they have that one devil chick. She's kind of prancing around naked sometimes. Power? Is that one? The one with the horns, the devil girl? Yeah. She's kind of fan service.
SPEAKER_04He's he's a gooner character. The chainsaw guy? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04His motivation is to get to the show. Is to get the yeah, is the goon. He loves the goon chick.
SPEAKER_01Dagoon. Yeah, exactly. So people can identify exactly. Black Butler. Very little. Nah, there was some huge.
SPEAKER_04There was some weird shit in the latest season. Maybe I'll tell you what. If you were a chick, you could goon, but like. That's a chick goon show. It's chick goons.
SPEAKER_01Sometimes you got sometimes you need the lady goons.
SPEAKER_04Sebastian. Yeah, no, no. I'll say tonight we have. And I didn't I didn't see anything new.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I didn't see anything new.
SPEAKER_00Even though I'll low key, you could goon off some of the some of the food that was being served.
SPEAKER_01Did Delicious as a dungeon? You know I was food gooning for delicious as a dungeon. That show made me so hungry.
SPEAKER_04Oh, if I wish I wish I had a butler, dude.
SPEAKER_00I wish I had a demon butler!
SPEAKER_01Nah, that's funny.
SPEAKER_04I'll even take Aloe's Trancy's butler.
SPEAKER_01Oh dude, of course. Any butler. Any demon button. Any demon butler. I'm Sebastian number one. Hook me the fuck up, bro.
SPEAKER_02I would take any butler, period. Demon powers or nah.
SPEAKER_04True, true. Um a little better than Tanaka. I'll hook it up.
SPEAKER_01I don't know which one is that one.
SPEAKER_04The old, old Japanese guy who does get a little tough in season three. Yeah, see exactly. He doesn't have to be a few. That's what he was fucking waiting for. That's what you were waiting for. Waiting for.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know. That's I've been watching I'd say anime wise, what have you guys been watching? I just started watching season two of Dodorio or whatever. Dorian.
SPEAKER_04Oh, is that good?
SPEAKER_01I like I like that anime period.
SPEAKER_04I like the first season a lot.
SPEAKER_01First season's good. As I I rewatched it because I forgot what happened. So I rewatched, I'm like, man, I forgot how much they just yell in this show. The main guy Kaiman just yells all the time. Like, but I guess if you were a lizard brain, you would. But like, it is there's a lot of yelling, and there's a lot of like tropes where the guy's thinking, not thinking, but speaking out loud in his head, he's like, oh, so you think you have me?
SPEAKER_02Too bad you don't.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, that's so clowny.
SPEAKER_04It's a little clown central.
SPEAKER_00He's like, just get him.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, just do it. Just don't, yeah, like just have the silent fight scene. That's why I liked Blue Eyes Samurai so much. So good. Yeah, that was cinema. That was cinema. Because she did it, and she absolute cinema. She did it, didn't talk too much about it, and it was just a revenge quest.
SPEAKER_04And the bad guy being Irish.
SPEAKER_01Bad guy being Irish was good. I liked his character. I liked his character too. He was a little bit brutal. Very brutal. Very brutal. Very brutal. Yeah, exactly. Didn't get literally hated all the Japanese guys, but was there because he had to be, because it was illegal to have white guy, round eyes.
SPEAKER_04A little bit of the problem.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, churchy's doing stuff. Yeah, that was good stuff. I really did enjoy Blue Eyed Samurai.
SPEAKER_04I don't like the big oaf character.
SPEAKER_01I thought he's the comic relief. And that's another Japanese trope they don't ever get rid of. There's always one like stupid oaf guy. Or even like if he's the strong, that guy wasn't a strong oaf.
SPEAKER_04Oh, the dumpling guy or whatever the fuck.
SPEAKER_01I don't have any hands, but I can do things too. The dumpling guy. He was a dumpling guy. He made the dumplings with no hands. He's a cripple. He's a cripple.
SPEAKER_04Like, I can just have something be serious. I'm okay with that, you know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I prefer it. Yeah. I prefer it too.
SPEAKER_04I don't need comic release.
SPEAKER_01No, very little. But I do think they try, because it's a show. They're making the show, and like, alright, well, we want like funny. Yeah, it's a little like we want to lighten it up a little bit, otherwise be like the orc with that one prostitute, too. Yeah, I kind of remember that. I haven't watched those.
SPEAKER_04It's been a while for me too.
SPEAKER_01But there was good stuff there. Good stuff. Classic though, she it was a little bit marvely where get fucked up, heal, get back in the action, come back stronger, get fucked up, heal, come back stronger. Like, that's not how like I guess bones do work that way, but it's not how like feudal Japan medicine would work. Getting super fucked up.
SPEAKER_03Normally you don't ever come back being lazy.
SPEAKER_01She'd have so many better now. She would have so many like lacerated organs. She would yeah, you could be less of a person than I was. Exactly. She would be in a wheelchair before wheelchairs were invented. And that would be a problem. Yeah, sometimes it's a little tough. Yeah. But what are you gonna do? You gonna have the main hero die? Nah, yeah. You could, you should. Nice woman protagonist. Much needed. Much needed is right. Strong women. And that who was pretending to not be a woman because it was bad. It was for the times. What a time piece. Time, timely. Timely is right. Yeah, but you know, can't win them all. That's our time, folks. I saw we talked about a lot of nothing and things that most people are gonna get, but the people who do get it, they're gonna really like it. Our audience, our audience, me when I listen to this again and be like, yep, good points. We love it. Yeah, love it. We lovely good night, folks.