Ep.112 Organ Black Market

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Alright. Whoa. Chill, chill, chill. Chill, chill. No. Oh my god. Right at the beginning, Nathan. Why'd you have to What did I do?

SPEAKER_02 0:14

He did nothing. You did it poorly. House of Cards.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

Alright, folks, we're back. This is the UTH podcast with Ryan and Nay. Sorry for the delay, but you know, we busy boys in the summer of love. So see.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

See. See. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

I'm trying to I'm going to Nashville tomorrow. Oh, and tomorrow. What's up in Nashville? Ariel got tickets to see country. More concerts from the Rhyman. More concerts. I'm a I'm a musical traveler. What can I say? I'm a man of music, a music fan going to see Alan Jackson's final tour. Who cares? Who's Alan Jackson? It's five o'clock somewhere. He sings that song. Never heard it. Never once.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

I'll be I'll throughout my life, I will be a continual stout, anti-country guy.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

And that's just me. And I can respect that, Ian. That's fine. I like I like it more now that I'm overexposed to it. And that you have and you have to. You got it. You have to. I have to like it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

But and I don't care that you do. I just don't like it.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

Yeah, no. And I can get that. It's not for everyone. Although they try to make country like it's for everyone. Nate's going dark mode. Nate's going dark. Going dark.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Going dark mode. Dr. Inseno. Nah, they do make it like it's for everybody, but it's it's just like any music, you know. No one's gonna like every kind of music.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

You can't like what kind of music. There's some music I just don't like either.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Yeah, no doubt.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Yeah, but that's what I got a full ass fucking weekend. Weekend, Nashville, up in I think Monday or Tuesday, I forget. And then I'm uh I took off the whole week, so I at least I have at least two days, I think, of break, and then we're going right onto OCMD. Are we getting haircuts? Are we getting haircuts? This is what the people want to know. This is the questions people have been emailing me. This are like, yo, what's going on with the haircuts? It is such a long commitment. It's not, you just shave your head then.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

I mean, true, but it takes so long to grow back.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

Do you want hair?

SPEAKER_02 2:15

I mean, a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Oh my god. This guy is freaking greedy for the bit. He's greedy for the bit. He talked a big game earlier.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

I did, I did. I was thinking about it, but I'm like, ugh. Well the pain.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Because that's uh what I I just got a haircut. So I have this. You're ready for it. I'm ready for it.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Yours by far is the least intrusive, Ryan.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

So I mean yours could have been least intrusive, too, Nate. I forget what we said you were gonna do. Braids? Braids, yeah. Twisties. Twisties, you can just twisted, not twisties. Like just a bunch of little twisties. Twisties would be crazy. Ludicrous.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

I feel like that's some sort of appropriation.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

Yeah, Nate was doing appropriation for years with the dreadlocks, and he got away with it too. And he was smug as fuck, dude. Smug as a rug in a bug.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

Hey, if we get down to it, it comes like Friday night or whatever, and we're all fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

Oh, you're gonna regret it if it's Friday night. It's a Friday night game day decision. Hey. I'm guessing. I've got that's kind of stuck in the right. My question though for you, Ian, is how confident would you be on Wednesday cutting lines on the side of my head? If we used a stencil, not a stencil, but like with washable crayons or like washable marker, draw what you want on the side of my head, and then with a like just like a like a straight razor, not a straight razor, no, not a razor.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Like a clippers, yeah, like one of those clippers that they use for like the the cleanup, you know.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Yeah, and I have that shit.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

You do have that? Yeah. I don't know. I think I would have need to practice. And then I feel like if I had five minutes of practice, practice.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

Not talking about practice, talking about a game. There's no practice, bro. We can practice all.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

One side might be practice. One side might be.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

Look how my hair is. I'm gonna take these off.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

You don't have that much real estate.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

It's gonna have to be one side, yeah, and it's just gonna be lines.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Just lines? Oh, that'd be easy. That's what yeah. I was expecting Dr.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

No, Dr. Pepper. No, it's not gonna be able to do Dr. Pepper. It's just gonna be like Dr.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Nonsense and Mr. Hyde, yeah. Dr.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Nonsense, yeah. Not gonna be able to do Dr. Pepper and Mr. Hyde. I don't have both sides of my head to do that. It's tiny letters. Yeah, it's very tiny. Yeah, I was trying to like we can brainstorm maybe later what could go on the side of my head that would be funny. I can think of a few lines. Yeah, it's three L's. Yeah. Four L's. Four L's, that's true. Four L's. This is a three, it's less offensive. Funny that you mentioned that. Funny that you mentioned that because I do actually have something about China and the four L's. But um uh what let me go into that's really not that important. So I was this like thing came across my desk. Um uh Cisco, which is like a company. Yeah, like technology. No, it's the technology company. I thought they'd like paper plates and cups. No, that's a different one. Might be, I think it's can't be it's C-I-S-C-O.

unknown 5:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

Cisco Tech. I don't know. Like it's a different Cisco System Incorporated, is what the full thing is. It's the American Multinational Technology Conglomerate Corporation that develops, manufactures, and sells hardware, software, telecommunications equipment, and other high-tech services, produces fo um focused on networking, cybersecurity, and AI. They're big, big tech, big tech headquarters in San Jose, California. They have a market capitalization of uh 317 billion, founded back in 1984 by two Stanford University computer scientists and CIA plants. Always got to. So as of Tuesday, this the Tuesday of this week, June 23rd, the Supreme Court shut down a lawsuit between the tech company Cisco and the Falun Gong spiritual movement in China.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

It's a new movement.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

It's a new spiritual movement. It's a new trend of foreign groups trying to find legal, you know, re reparation, solitude, like justification through the US court systems against US companies doing things abroad. But the Supreme Court said, Hell no, no, we ain't doing it.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Not the Supreme Court.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

So the claim to fame for Cisco was their pioneering of the concept of the local area network or land connection. Well, that's that's what they started. Yeah, okay, that's pretty big. So that's what they're doing. So they've been around for a while. They've been around since they're founded in '84. Oh shit. They've been around for a while in the computer realm. Since the computers. Since pooters is right. But just to I'm doing, I have a little background of both. So Cisco's background, this is not their first time of being fuckheads. Cisco has been sued multiple times. Believe it. They paid $91 million in 2001 to sell a lawsuit regarding insider trading. In 2009, they had to make a monetary contribution to the Free Software Foundation due to a lawsuit regarding the company failing to comply with a general public license, making source code publicly available. So they were doing things they in 2020. Cisco data centers are used by the Israel military for AI targeting operations. So they're not very good at it. And the company has since banned discussion of the conflict in Gaza in 2025. Nice. So you're not allowed to talk about it. It's almost like time to go roll it. We don't, yeah. Do we have them hit schools? Does our AI love hitting learning centers? Of course they do. We don't talk about it. So most notable and our current issue, although I think the Israel one's pretty notable, is Cisco's involvement with the People Republic of China. So I'm uh the company has helped with implementing the censorship that the government carries out. Provided China with surveillance and internet infrastructure that they is equipped to block internet websites and track online activities in China.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

So this had to have been like before NetEase and like all the big companies that they have over there now.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

Well, they um uh like Cisco has been contracted out to give them part of this, or at least to provide the infrastructure that then their companies use. Cisco was providing the technologies in order to do that. So the current lawsuit started all the way back in 2011 when Fon Gong filed a lawsuit through the US courts against Cisco stating that the company company knowingly developed and customized its products to assist the Chinese government in the prosecution and abuse of the Foun Gong prac practitioners. I mean, probably what are the Foun Gong practitioners? I'm glad you asked, Nathan. I'm so glad you asked. I was thinking you're about to say like the Uyghurs. I was gonna be like, aha! Heard about them, and no one's heard about the Floon Gong. And it's a damn shame, honestly. It is a damn shame. Rolls off the tongue. Flo the Fuan? Yeah, Floung Gong. Flan's delicious. I don't know. Let me look at it.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

How would you say this word? I'm not gonna show you. Falun.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

Falun gong. We'll pass it around out. Falung gong. Falloon?

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Yeah, phalon gong. Falon gong. Yeah, phalong gong. And for the listener, it's F-A-L-U-N.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Gong.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

So make up your own mind.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Yes, make up your own mind. I'm just gonna start calling the F G.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

So the F G emerged in the early 1990s from the Qing Gong movement in China. So it combines meditation, exercise, and moral teachings rooted in Buddhist and Taoist traditions. Okay. So it's just during the 1990s, as with men like how the US has, you know, when things get all popular and stuff, this was a fad in China. It's like the grunge movement in China. China grunge in China, but more so, like it was like post-On Chin Rikyo. Like we're talking guys who think it's cool to be like, oh, we're going back to Buddhist teachings, which China did not like. So FG's rapid growth and independence from state control led to several top officials in China to perceive it as a threat, resulting in periodic acts of harassment. In 1999, the Chinese government banned Fuang Gong, labeling it an illegal organization. It's illegal. It's illegal. There was more people following it. Problematic too is that Fuangong is the main guy, is the main guy. There's one guy who started it and he's like the head guy. So they don't like one guy getting all this support and followers. So mass arrests and torture conducted by the Chinese government put hundreds or thousands of SG practicers, individual uh practicing individuals in labor camps. In 2008, US reports estimated that about half of China's labor camp's population was made of Flaogong practitioners. Half. Half of their, yeah, in 2008. So that's uh a kind of a weird sack because I don't know how what was the population. They don't say what the population of labor camp people were, but in China, I gotta imagine it's never small.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

No, they got people to spare.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

They got people to spare. There's people in them camps. In 2017, a report by Freedom House estimated that between 7 and 20 million people practicing FG in China. So it was mostly being forced to practice privately. So they're saying in 2017, between 7 and 20 million people were practicing this, you know, lifestyle kind of like faux religion spiritualist. Like a lifestyle, you know? Yeah, I think it's like it's like spiritualist, like you see, you know. Yeah, it's kind of it's it's a movement, it's people who practice it. So I kind of think it's like kind of a religious sect, but China doesn't like religion. Yeah. So it's so Fal Gong is based on the teachings of the leader Lee Hongzi. To his followers, Lee is a godlike figure who can levitate, walk through walls, and see into the future. See, that's where it looks like. And this guy, Lee is cool as fuck to fucking thing. Yeah. And that's why you gotta take the good with the bad. You felt bad for him for a little bit, and then you realize they're a bunch of with a guy who's doing fake shit. But then you realize why the fucking Chinese government has to crack down on them because they're a bunch of fucking X-Men. Yeah, exactly. They're X-Men. So his ultra-conservative and controversial teachings include rejection of modern science. I like art and medicine. Doesn't like any of it. He doesn't like art and medicine. He doesn't like modern art or medicine either. Okay. Based. Hello, based. And the denouncing of homosexuality, feminism, and general worldliness. Okay, queen. That's go off. Go off. So there's four main themes of the sacred right here. What it sounds like is you can throw these gaps out.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Put him in the goo league. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

Put him in the go league. Now I can say, well, that is why America is so beautiful and great, because you can practice your dumbass hateful ways, and mostly the government doesn't get involved. Yeah, it's unless you're peddling illegal gun parts. Well, that or allegedly. Or if you're like saying, like, hey, we need to stop hateful ways, then it's like, well, you can't say that. Gotta throw you in jail. We're not, we don't want to stop. This guy had a dream. They're dreaming now. He should have came to America. I should have came to America. Well, um, Fal Gong is international. There are communities around the entire world that practice this, but it just obviously is much more popular in history. I should have fucking took a took a boat. Hop on a boat. Hop on a boat. So the four main themes of the sacred writings are first, an apocalyptic theme that emphasizes the moral decline of humanity and includes claims that extraterrestrial beings are influencing humanity through modern science. Okay. I really like that one. Second, a theme of rigorous spiritual discipline in which Lee calls on his followers to eliminate worldly attachments and purify themselves. So give me all your things. Give me all your things, and you don't gotta worry about it. You don't even want them. Yeah. Third, a messianic theme in which Lee is presented as an Oh Jesus Christ. Omisetic and Omnipotent Savior of the entire universe. Omnipotent. Omnipotent, maybe. Omnis omniscient. That's the second word for it. Omniscient and omnipotent. Savior of the entire universe. Who revealed all time and everywhere?

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

He revealed the fundamental law of the universe and understood as the only tool to protect yourself against the apocalypse. Yeah, what was the word that Brian could not say?

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Obsession?

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Obsession, dude. He couldn't say the m biggest movie that's out right now. That's what he said. I saw Obsession.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

I saw Obsession. Obsession? Obsession? Obsession. Yeah, we just kept saying Obception.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Like a mix of that movie and Inception. Inception. That's the next movie now. Obception. Yeah, no, that was wild. So fourth of the sacred writings is the Omniscience, I can understand. Yeah, that's what's made me think of omniscience. It's a weird word. It had meaning omniscience and omnipotent. Omnipotent. Omnipotent. Yes. Yeah. Omnipotent. Omnipotent. Four is the sectarian practice where followers must follow Fuangong exclusively. And it is forbidden to engage in other religions, philosophies, or other schools of Kwai Gong. So this this guy is a cult leader brainwasher. Yeah, he figured it out. This guy's got a he got a good system locked in. And the Chinese government did not like it. So they were prosecuting these people.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

And then these it'd be these people I could be on the side of Xi Jinping. I could have a job for the CCP. Other than being a white monitor.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Which still could do. It's still a possibility.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

How much uh you know mileage uh white American has these days.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

How much mileage I could get some mileage off tit. So the practice of Fongzong consists of two features perform performance of the exercises and the refinement of ones is literally Zingzing, which is moral character and temperament. So, like that sounds fine.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

I get that.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

Exercise and knowing your moral temp character and temperament. Yeah. So back in 2006, Canada did an investigation in the extremely low wait times for organ transplants in China. A liver transplant waiting list was one to two weeks.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

That's livers.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

Compared to Canada, which was an average of 32 and a half months.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

And the mass arrests and crackdown on Flau Gong during that same time. They were stealing livers.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

They were killing boo dudes and they were killed.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

So that's what there's been there's been some studies done where they're thinking that this group was extra prosecuted. Granted, from what I've gathered from Wikipedia, they do kind of sound like idiot fuckhead cult lead, like cultists, but there's been multiple different research done that is linking them to possibly involuntary organ harvesting as specifically toward this group because no one liked them besides their own people. So it was also true. So wait, wait, wait, let me flip around. So the Chinese government was potentially using these folks that like they disappeared in the labor camps for organ harvesting? Yes. And the Chinese government is known for this.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

And now we're back on Falgong's side.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

Now are we back on Falgong's side now, possibly? I don't know. It's all this smut and that's the thing. You have to realize what framing is this? Do they want you to hate these people so you don't care if they disappear? You don't know. It was also attracted a significant increase of the annual organ transplants in China beginning in 1999, corresponding with the onset of the prosecution of the FG.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Do you get organs faster if your social credit's higher? You have to, right?

SPEAKER_03 19:25

I gotta imagine if you're more important, you're probably bumped up on the list. I gotta imagine though the doctors in China who do an organ plant plants, they do so many of them. They gotta be the best in the world.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

I would say so.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

I just don't want no Chinaman's organs in me that much.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Uh a doctor who does it every one to two weeks or one every 32 months. 32 months?

SPEAKER_03 19:44

Once every three years? Yeah. Two weeks getting practice weekly. Yeah, so despite the very low levels of voluntary organ donation, China performs the second highest number of transplants per year. Second? I don't know who's first. I didn't look that up. I should have looked it up. I'm sure a lot of it's with their population's very large, so just by default, they would have higher numbers.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Yeah, but who would do more than China? China has a billion fucking people.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Yeah, India. India.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

The ultimate organ farm. Yeah, another cool place to wake up in a bathtub full of ice. Sore back an ice tub.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

A bathtub full of ice in that hot ass place.

SPEAKER_03 20:27

Yeah, they're not getting ice in a bathtub full of shit. Yeah. In a dookie piss bathtub. It's affected. Might as well have just killed me before.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

That's like the dookie pissed tub, huh?

SPEAKER_01 20:43

It was a fucking stray dog gnawing off the fucker.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

He's trying to get in. He's trying to get in the wound.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Yeah, we're trying to get in the wound.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

He thinks it's my asshole. He's trying to morgue his way in.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

He's trying to forget a worm as well.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Worm is my hand. That's the less stinky place in the country. That's a beacon of civilization. Yeah. So in May of 2008, two United Nations special reporters reiterated requests for the Chinese authorities to respond to these allegations. So the UN was starting to be like, hey, what's going on with all these organ trees? These numbers don't add up. So Chinese officials responded by denying the organ harvesting allegations. Whoa, hey, not us. And insisting that China abides by the World Health Organization, the Who, aka the Foo, to this guy, principles that prohibit the sale of human organs without written consent of them. We don't do that. We don't do this. Everyone signed the paper who we take in their organs from. Does that signature look like the same guy? Yes. We have a lot of similarities.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

But I mean, like, just how easy is that just to get somebody to sign something, sign this? All right. Yeah, or just for them to like stop beating you. Just like, all right, sign this thing. Sign this. We're taking all your organs.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

You're telling me your last name's also Lee. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Get over here.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

According to the UN, it remains to be seen how it could be possible that organ transplant surgery in China. We sprung a leak? No. We did spring a leak for a second. I think it might have been me pulling a little bit. So yanking on the score. Yanking on the cord. Yeah. I by my arm on purpose. So it remains to be seen how it could be possible that organ transplant surgeries in Chinese hospitals have risen massively since 1991. 1999. While there are never that many volunteer donors available. So there's just they do so many transplants. The math doesn't matter. The math doesn't matter. For sure. I mean, like, I I have, you know, people get disappeared all the time, and like, what do you do with those people? Like, you recycle them, dude. Like, you recycle them. It's bugs in a bucket. Yeah, they go bug mode. The Asians always go bug mode. Crabs in a bucket. Yeah. So a journalist who interviewed formally formally detained people in labor camps, security officers, and medical profession medical professionals from some Chinese labor camps estimated that some 64,000 Fong Gong prisoners may have been killed for their organs between 2000 and 2008. In 2019, the China Tribunal, a non-governmental tribunal set up by the International Coalition to end transplant abuse in China. That's a mouthful. Concluded, uh concluded certain that Fal Yong was a source, probably the principal source, of organs for forced organ harvesting. And they said you can get about three organs from one person.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

That's a lot of organs. That's a lot of people saved.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yeah, it is a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Three. Do the math. We're saving more people than killing.

SPEAKER_03 24:11

Loki, this is, I would like Nathan, if you could. I'll buy you the color one, but could you hang this is the Fal Young flag.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Yeah, that's hype. I'll put that somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

Yeah, that is the Fal Young flag. It's pretty cool. Pretty cool stuff. It's Buddhist. It's Buddhist as hell. It's and it's like gold and blue. It's a lot better not in black and white, but I don't have a color printer at work. You printed that out of work. Yes, I did. Yeah, at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Oh my god, I forgot to print that.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

I forgot to pick that up for the printer. Oh, false, false, focus, false. I'd make sure I did not do that. I wasn't gonna be back until next Monday.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

For listeners, it's like five swastikas in a circle, pretty much. With one big swastika in a couple of years.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

With yin yangs, and it's not any kind of Nazi synth. This is Buddhist how. I'm not saying it's Nazi anything. It's a Swaz and Tika. Swaz and Tika. There's some tikas in there. I ain't talking tikka parties. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Speaking of, do you have Zens? Are those sexies? Yeah. Can I have one of these? I gotta wash out the cigarette taste in my mouth. I forgot how bad cigarettes taste, Nate. What are you gonna do? Well, ask this. It reminded me of this, and I wanted to talk to Ian about because did we talk about the tiki bar that we went to maybe two weekends ago now? Who went to? Me and Nate and my fada.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

Yes, well, yes, you did tell me about that. I told you about that. Make your own mood. Make your own mood. Yes. Make your own food.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

Make your own steak and then you fucking throw up the big thing. Yeah, I did. Well, that's guys. That's the last time I had a cigarette was then, and the cigarette made the throw-up taste less bad, but having a perfectly good beer mouth. When did you have a cigarette? I I had like two puffs off your cigarette at the restaurant there just because my mouth tasted like throw up. Again, another the stall in that bathroom had a privacy wall. But no door. But did not cover your knees.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Well, no, I mean just imagine like imagine your stall. Does it up to your fucking chest?

SPEAKER_03 26:07

No, no, it was a wall. I'm talking lengthwise.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

It wasn't even that tall, dude. I was saying, imagine just like your standard urinal separator where it's like you can still like look at the shoulders.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

Yeah, you would have I would have been able to look at I would have been bird's eye view with a guy's bird's eye meatus.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Yeah, there's a urinal and then that divider and then a toilet right next to it. A sitting turlet that you would need. I have a divider at all.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

Why have a divider at the end of the day? Well, first some so I could beat my meat in the corner if I was riding side saddle on that bitch.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Someone's in here.

SPEAKER_03 26:38

And then come in and be like, yeah, I know I can see you. Yeah, I can see it. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yeah, that was a terrible bathroom. And I'm so glad no one came in there while I was freaking throwing up my guts. I don't know if it was from the over-alcoholic. Did you lock the door or is it an overall? No, it's a s it was a multi-use cell. Cell. Yeah, it was hell in a cell, and I'll tell that one. It was hell in a cell.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Could they hear you throw up? Could is it near anything?

SPEAKER_03 27:09

Yeah, it was near the kitchen.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Ah, good.

SPEAKER_03 27:11

Which I think is, if anything, it's a statement. If anyone goes into your bathroom, he's like, Yeah, doing all the street fighter sounds. I do think I undercooked my steak, but I can't believe it would have fucked me up that quick. Well, because low-key, like not that quick. I'm I was thinking about it then later, dude. Dad took back to cook his steak. Yeah, like I didn't want to be a bitch though. I wanted to outcook dad. I was like, Yeah, you cooked it for like the same time. My steak's fine.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

And yeah, if that was like, yo, this is like way underdone. You're like, that's weird. Mine's fine. And then like he cooked it for like 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

Yeah. Now my shit was mad wrong.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

At a place where you described you do not want to eat raw meat there. No, dude, you definitely've all the bacteria. Was not up to temp.

SPEAKER_03 28:01

They didn't have any thermometers, but I thought was crazy for a place that served chicken.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Yeah, you're not gonna be like, what the fuck is that? Oh, that's chicken. I thought you had steaks. I got steaks. Yeah. That's how you check the tenderness, is like when you this is uh well done, this is medium. See how it gets softer and softer and harder and your hand is fatter than mine. It's not the fattest of muscle right here. My hand is the same the entire time.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Mine is the same, the whole thing. You got no you have no muscle right there. Yeah, I have nothing but muscle, that's the problem.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

It's actually blown up.

SPEAKER_03 28:38

No, maybe it's maybe it's my righty compared to my left. My left might be worse. Yeah, it's gotta be this one, Ian. Yeah. Again, this one is the same though every time, too.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

When you go like this, it doesn't get No, it's definitely a lot less like if you're touching like this part here compared to your gets a lot tougher. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

You're the weird one here.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

No. No. Yeah, your hands are just like broken. I do think I have small hands. I've thought this before. Just little little doll hands. I do not have little doll Donald Trump doll hands. I don't know. It makes me upset. It makes me upset. Trumpian hands, I do think I have small hands.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

It makes me sad, honestly. That's not something people really notice unless they're really small.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Yeah, I think I'm I'm I'm proportionate to my body, yeah, but I have small hands compared to what my rest of my body I should be so much bigger. My hands should be giant.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

Your hands look fine, dude. Don't worry about it. I don't know. Thanks. Nate's hands look huge, dude.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

Nate does have big hands, which is because that's if you would have practiced a little bit harder, you probably could have been a guitar smith, bro. Whatever. Whatever. Basically got a half hour, boys. What else you guys got? Uh oh fuck. We could play that card game.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

I was also, you we never did those uh sketch ideas.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Oh, we didn't. I still have mine.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

I don't really have any, but I have two ideas. Two ideas.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

Uh yeah, it's true. None of them are fletched. I did send homework. I forget because we were watching um uh the most racist man on the internet, Sam Hyde. Oh, yeah. And he inspired me, much like he inspires many other people, um uh, that sketch comedy can be some of the dumbest shit you've ever seen in your entire life. Like making a sketch about carjutsu, but it's done poorly. Not like Russian guys locked in a car where they're taking it too seriously. You have two Rhode Island meth heads in a car who are winded within 30 seconds, and then they're kind of just like hugging each other. Because they've never done that before. Because they've been smoking, they smoked an entire pack of cigarettes before they got in the car. I think should be an I would almost like to do that again when your car finally takes a shit before we sell it for scrap. Carjutsu. Carjutsu, that car is huge, yeah. That's but we pipe in cigarette smoke in we hotbox, you have to smoke a pack of cigarettes, or at least a pack is a lot.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

I mean, you could maybe smoke like two or three in a closed windows car.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

It's gonna it should it be like um uh divisions, like it's the three cigarette division, five cigarette division, cigar division's a heavyweight, cigar division, cigar division's heavyweight, you gotta smoke a cigar in there.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

It's a lot of burns, I'm feeling.

SPEAKER_03 31:27

Well, no, no, you smoke it and then it's fight. That's the preamble because then it gets all smoky and foggy in there. Eliminates the vision element, possibly. The ability to breathe. They have a slight high, ability to breathe, a slight high, so they feel less of the blows. And I say no grapple, I think it should be car boxing.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

Just like how they just fucking win.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

Yeah, hitting. I think hitting, it should be car MMA. C-A-C-A-R-MMA. Your hands are instead of like boxing gloves, it's more so your hands are taped and closed fists. Taped and closed fists is good. I like that just like um uh towels, hand tea towels. Towels. T towel is not used enough. I don't know, like a hand towel. What is a tea towel versus a hand towel? Tea towel is what you put a tea kettle on so it doesn't burn the bottom of the. You're telling me that's a freaking like a co uh pot, like it's a nicer than a hand towel.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Hand towel's more rugged.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

I do like the tea. T towel is funny. T towel. T towel with duct tape around your hand. T towel duct tape to your hand and just beating the spit out of each other is much funnier. Because the jujitsu's boring. Yeah, it would just, you have to just do those. The side, the um uh yeah, the sideway thrasher. I mean, like, if slap if the slap fight thing is real, then like that can definitely be there's space for space for wailing on each other's heads while sitting in a car. And I would call it the it would be the cigarette league car fighting. Because then you could have, because then we start going to more um uh cannabis-friendly places, weed-friendly car fighting. You just pipe in, you get the freaking the humidor out there, get a lot of the weed volcanoes, you know, like the ones where it makes fills up the whole bag. Yeah, you can do the bag, and you just like pop the back. I just think it's dope, like those like um air, like the floor dryers that you see, like when they have to like dry a floor somewhere, and it's just like a big fan, and they they pack the one side up with it and make the the giant weed gone. Yeah, a giant weed. Is that a thing they've done? Have they done it?

SPEAKER_01 33:23

You haven't seen that a bunch, dude? I've seen that a bunch of a bunch. We have different algorithms. I've seen that a bunch of times.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

I've never seen it. I know what you mean. The floor dryer, like for when you just mop a floor. Yeah, yeah, you see that. At Panera Brew, they had one day, yeah, yeah, stuff like that. Yeah, where you drive floor. That shit's cool. You fill it with weed, just blasting weed, put that into a car, and then guys gotta fight like that. And you have the freaking and then you'd be like, all right, ow, he's spiking the potion. Throwing some meth bits in there to get the guys when they start getting sleepy, some Kratom. There's some cra Kratom would just slow everyone down. It slowed me down. No, what were we saying before that? Oh, the bits, the sketches, sketches, sketches. I was saying example, guys were car fighting from Rhode Island. What Ian, what's your what's your premises? Starting, dude. You have to start.

unknown 34:09

God damn.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

It's probably gonna go again, it's gonna go strong, weak, strongest. No, it's not strong.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

I had two ideas, right? And maybe we can Yeah, we can go around.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

You can do your first idea first.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

I don't know which one's worse now that I think about it.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

Neither works. They're both great in their own way.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

Fair enough. Alright, so I'm thinking more classic sketch comedy more than like carjutsu.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

Okay. Uh either works. Either works.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Alright, you got two friends waiting for their buddy, right? I don't know if it's on the street yet. I don't know, exterior.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Yeah, you're you're at the the pitching floor for adult swim.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

Right, right, right. So the friend comes running up. He's a little late, right? He's out of breath. He's like, please, you gotta I'm gonna, whatever, hide over there. I got some guys looking for me. Don't tell them where I'm at.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

And you're like, he hides in a bush by you?

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Yeah, yeah, like, bro, I gotcha. Like he's your friend.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Okay, he's my friend. Okay, yeah, I got you.

SPEAKER_02 35:05

No worries. But you were waiting for him. Okay. And then two guys come running up.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

And they're like, Did you see that guy? And you go, No, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

And then something about what terrible thing did your friend do?

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Well, it it would like lead into like, you know, he was being a menace. You're like, ah, it's not too bad. And then it gets worse and worse, and you you cut to the guy being like, dude.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Guy in the bush being like prayer pelt. Yeah, or it's like he scalped that lady. And then you cut to him and he's wearing the hair. That's good. Alright. That's good. He cut off a kid's face. That would keep it. Fucked in somebody's son just looking like a kid loosely. He's at the end of the fucking.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

Yeah, so keep cutting back, and the friends are getting obviously more horrified or whatever. Yeah, and then I just don't know when it cuts to you have to tell them, right? No, you don't.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

No, definitely you'd be like, nah, I got you. And then you dap them up at the end of the day. Yeah, friends are from the case. Bloody hand daps them up. Yeah, that is good.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

Wearing the lady's scalp.

SPEAKER_03 36:12

Wearing the lady scalp, man's face, yeah. Child on a leash next to him.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

So that could be written out a little bit more, but I was hit trying to hit the main notes.

SPEAKER_03 36:21

That's that is a very easy one to do, and that is hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 36:24

Yeah, it's like a two, three-minute sketch.

SPEAKER_03 36:27

That's perfect. That's that gets greenlit in my in my writer's room. Greenlit. I have like three, so I'll go next. Let me I gotta pull them up though. I forget them.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Well then let me uh let me go in because it's less of a sketch, it'll be more of like a product because I was inspired by um this Pokemon card craze and the 20 250th anniversary of the United States of America.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

Okay, I like this. 30 years of Pokemon, 250 of America. They gotta make is presidential trading cards. And then you would also We've talked about this before. Have we talked about this before? We've talked about this before. This is a good idea, and then you would put their stats on the back, dude. So you'd have like, you know, their vertical leap.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Um is it a deck of 45 or 47 or whatever the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 37:11

Nah, because they're just trading cards because Donald Trump's done trading cards.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

There would be duplicates and like ultra rares of some. Like, obviously, you would want the Bubba card where it's Bill Clinton getting the blowing.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

He has like different forms. It's like Bubba X, like it's Bill Clinton and then Bubba, which is like Bill Clinton EX. Like the EX the no good, the full part. Yeah, with Trump giving him slop knob kind of in like the background of the like it's really his face going like and you see, yeah, slop knob on the bottom. Yeah, you got like FDR, you know, you'd have to do it. Can we do having stats on the back? Like, obviously, like president President Jackson is like gotta be a top tier with high kill count, huge kill count, kill counts on them all, kill counts is huge. Obama would be up there too. Obama'd be a big kill count.

SPEAKER_02 38:01

Yeah, Jefferson with slaves.

SPEAKER_03 38:04

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like how many slaves did they own? Because like you had would you because slaves owned would get less as we go throughout time, and then it would get big again.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Yeah, depending on how long the um the card series goes on for, you know. If we're talking like if we see how many years 30, 35, then you know, slaves might be back.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

In fact, slaves might be back, exactly. Like try like slaves and be like slaves with an asterisk, an astrum child, like child slaves, yeah. If you're talking like even Epstein style, dude, like that's what I mean. Do we have support like characters? Like you definitely would. Everyone tangential to the political realm.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

You'd have um, like, you know, um would you have Joe Vice and then president?

SPEAKER_03 38:43

Dick Cheney and then we have some Vices, some Vice Presidents. Mastermind of 9-11. That's true, that's true. He is a kill count. Did he kill the guy with a shotgun? I don't think he killed that guy, he just maimed him. Yeah. Like you could have like, would you have like Dick Cheney's shotgun as like an equipment? Like an artifact card, you could get a couple of things. Artifact card. We're doing full magic, the gathering, but with the presidents. There's plenty of things. And it could still be Magic Gathering. IP just gotta expand into the presidents, bro. That could have a whole commander deck. You had a Republican Democrat commander deck, amazing. That's what I'm saying, dude.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

There's a lot of yeah, we're getting way too much.

SPEAKER_03 39:22

Would you have some senators? Yeah, Twin Towers. Magic the Gathering's doing a lot of crossovers, doing a lot of crossovers. They as they've done Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Really, there's only four of them. I know there's a lot of monsters, and you got Splinter, but like Shredder. There's not that many people that have full a full expansion of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Bebop, Rocksteady. That's like you're naming them, Kran. Casey Jones, Krang.

SPEAKER_02 39:47

I'm just gonna name some attributes, and I want you to think of a president. Death Touch.

unknown 39:52

Death Touch.

SPEAKER_03 39:53

Um, I want to say like Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter might the peanut farmer?

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Yeah, the peanut farmer.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

Death touch may like that could be any of them. All of them have been killers. Better like you just put on like Hillary Clinton because she would definitely have to be a couple of things. Clint Clint dog could have death touch.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

Clinton's definitely have death touch.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

Give me another tribute, a tribute.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

A little better defender.

SPEAKER_03 40:16

Defender?

SPEAKER_02 40:18

Like uh can't attack, only defender.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

I would say um uh who's the fat guy who got um uh stuck in the tub? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Like William Taft.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

Yeah, Taft, definitely Defender. Swamp Walk, that's DeSantis. DeSantis, yeah. Swamp Walk, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 40:33

Um what are the uh lifelink?

SPEAKER_03 40:36

Life link. That might be Reagan or what or FDR because he lasted so fucking long.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Nah, FDR would be unblockable. Unblockable.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

No, that would be Truman, the guy who dropped the bomb.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Well, I just think it's funny because he's FDR's in the wheelchair. I forget what else.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

Flying, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

Flying could be Obama with his drones.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

Yep, that's good. You no more. Is there anything else? Haste would be Bubba.

SPEAKER_03 41:03

Haste would be Bubba. Obviously, gotta have Bubba with haste.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

Double strike, yeah.

unknown 41:08

Double strike.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

You got double strike.

SPEAKER_03 41:11

That could also be double strike could be could be Cheney or um uh Bush because they hit both the towers. That's double strike.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Well, that was the Osama bin Laden card.

SPEAKER_03 41:21

Yeah, double strike. Yeah, yeah, villains and yeah, you have everyone. You could have fucking um uh Osama bin Laden, you could have who's the other um uh the next magic gathering expansion politics of the 2000s or 2000 wars. Yeah, that would be you could do it. Like we could do the Founding Fathers, that's a whole branch in itself. You have freaking your Benedict Arnold, you have Paul Revere, James Madison. Yeah, you have Alexander Hamilton, white and black.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

Before and after. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

That one's not bad, Nate. I like that one.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

I would like that. Not much of a skit, but I'm uh it's a product.

SPEAKER_01 41:56

You said that. It's a product. Gonna try to posted it on Truth Social to get attracted.

SPEAKER_03 42:03

Alright, so my first would be OnlyFan. Where you're making a website to try and just to make money off the closeness of the name of OnlyFans. It's a website of people putting their head into a moving fan. Like ceiling fans, like all fans. Like OnlyFan. And what I would do is you have OnlyFan, and you have a bunch of really attractive women, their profile picture, you gotta pay for my VIP page, whatever, and then you pay $50 a month and you find out it's just ladies putting because ladies putting their head into a moving fan would be so detrimental. All the hair catch.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

I would I would put money into that before only fans to see some of the things.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

I would too. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

How fast they go, dude.

SPEAKER_03 42:52

Yeah, we're doing full. The higher the tier, the more money you could get. If you're getting a guy who's putting on max max turn, guys just the more times you pull the shit. It's really just this should be an Instagram page of a guy called OnlyFan, and it's just him constantly putting himself in the fans. But you also have other options being only flawn.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

It's all about people smashing their heads through flaw.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

Or just flawn.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

Or just flaw on itself.

SPEAKER_03 43:20

Or only cans.

SPEAKER_02 43:21

No, that could be. We're in a whole realm.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

Trash cans, tin cans, the bathroom, another word for the can. So just uh websites that are like the only fans, but are just not the only fans. Then another one instead of we all heard of thug life. Yes. Tug life.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

I thought we were gonna go bug life or something.

SPEAKER_03 43:49

Not bug life, tug life. Where would be gang yeah, gangsters that only talk about tugging on they meet. Yeah, you're like, yo, I'm so motherfucking hard. See, now that's getting too close to the whole lagoon movement, which I am fully against. And but that's the thing, though, it's hot right now, and it's making a mockery of it. That's what you gotta understand. I mean, and but you are right though that it is hot right now, so like you could cash in on some of that. Tug life. Tug life. Hot out here.

SPEAKER_02 44:23

Some RB tug life or something.

SPEAKER_03 44:25

Yeah, some tug life. Alright, what is your other idea?

SPEAKER_02 44:30

Again, it's more of a sketch.

SPEAKER_03 44:31

Yeah, these are this is why I was thinking these. That is what I was looking for is what you have. I have more stupid things.

SPEAKER_02 44:39

Uh again, this is like a one interior apartment.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

Okay, interior.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

Group of friends are getting together. I'll call for ease, I'll call him Ryan A Lee, right? Uh with prospective girlfriends, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 44:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

So it's like a big get together, right?

SPEAKER_03 45:01

So we have a six people couple, couples get together.

SPEAKER_02 45:04

We're like, oh. Two friends get together, and we're like, I don't know. Ryan's new girlfriend is a little weird or whatever. Uh I don't this is this is gonna be the joke. She's a w we think she's a wendigo, right?

SPEAKER_03 45:21

Like the shape shifting stage. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

Where whoever is the boyfriend of hers, yeah, well, you met I was a hiking or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 45:30

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

We met her, I met her at a hiking bumped her whenever in the woods, and there'd be like a weird cutscene with like some creature going in the background real fast, they bump into each other.

SPEAKER_01 45:40

Some clearly haunted ass fucking cave with like corpses and she acts real weird, right?

SPEAKER_02 45:48

Yeah, she doesn't she doesn't say much, right? Yeah. And then you know, as you're talking about it, you know, from the fucking because now you're getting convinced that she is a Wendigo skin crawler.

SPEAKER_03 46:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:05

In the in the sketch. In the sketch in the other room here right, some sort of unworldly scream. Everybody runs in there, and it was somebody else's girlfriend showing them that a ring to the the Wendigo chick or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

Yeah, it's just like I was like they were marrying, uh, it was like like she was gonna propose.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

No, she screamed because she was looking at the ring or whatever. Like she was happy.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

Oh, happy that they were getting married. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

I just don't know how it just don't know where to end.

SPEAKER_03 46:37

Is she a skinwalker or isn't she? You don't know. We don't know.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

And I don't think anybody should know.

SPEAKER_01 46:43

Yeah, that's kind of See that's one of those things that then you cut back to that sketch at the end of it where they're like, yeah, in some sort of like decrepit cave with like a bunch of like half-eaten bodies and stuff, and they're just like, you know, like well, I'm so glad that you get along with you know I'm so glad you get along with those guys.

SPEAKER_03 47:00

I really appreciate you meeting my friends.

SPEAKER_04 47:01

I know they can be a little bitch among a little muddy.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

Oh, we can be all a little crazy. Yeah, guys are kind of crazy. I know.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Uh I didn't want to say it, but I appreciate you guys. They thought you were a Wendigo, guys.

SPEAKER_03 47:15

She's like sucking the marrow from a bone.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

And then cuts a black screen.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

Appreciate you driving home, sweetheart. I had a little bit too much to drink.

SPEAKER_02 47:24

Yeah. I don't know. That was, I guess my first one was a little better.

SPEAKER_03 47:28

No, that one is uh you're you're a thinker. Those are good ones.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

Those are good. Those are like the directions of both of those that they're semi-horror related as well. I guess they are.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

Yeah. One's just terror. This one's more supernatural.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

Supernatural.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

I like a little supernatural.

SPEAKER_03 47:45

There's not enough supernatural in the space anymore.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

To me, the idea of somebody being a skinwalker is both scary and funny to me.

SPEAKER_03 47:55

It is funny. It's a funny monster to like base your whole, like, you know, to base something off of.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

One of the friends should be a Native American guy who's like, hey, brother. Hey, the song's not right.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

Someone like just like you and me, and then like a very traditional dressed Native American guy, but like, I heard that man.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

Yeah, or just like back, you know, in an apartment, and like he's just like the roommate stopping over, and just like comes and just like looks at him like leaves.

SPEAKER_03 48:25

Yeah, does like a three circles, throws like a powder on the way out. He's like, she's a fucking wonder.

SPEAKER_01 48:32

You're fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

That guy's so crazy, dude. Nice seeing you, Rainwater. Yeah, he's wearing, he's wearing just a reflective vest.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

Smoking a piece of pipe.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

Yeah, he doesn't do very good with his firewater. Am I right, guys? I heard that. Hey, come on, guy. Come on, guy.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

We're all friends here.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

Yeah, that would be funny. I I do like that idea. I like that. My other my other ideas are. Well, first of all, I saw this, and it just made me laugh. A 40-year-old man dressed like a middle schooler.

SPEAKER_01 49:07

I just saw that. I said uh did you see that video I sent you on Instagram?

SPEAKER_03 49:12

I don't know, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

But the AI video of the two fucking old men dressed like middle schoolers.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like a whole skid. Those guys are in a bunch of stuff. Yeah, there's a whole bunch of things. Those guys are older than 40. Those guys are like, those dudes are like a million years ago. Yeah, those guys. I saw a guy who was like makes me fucking Yeah, that is funny. That is very funny.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

That hat's lethal slime.

SPEAKER_03 49:34

Yeah. And he's like, I just wanted to hang out with the guy. I'm gonna ask them if I can hang out. It's a gamble, but it looks like they run a pretty tight three-piece fourth guy. Could throw off the whole energy. I'm gonna ask anyway. Yeah, sorry, we gotta head out.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

Yeah, that was funny. That sounds very funny, whatever that is.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

No, but um um 40-year-old man just like a middle school. I just saw that in the wild. It was a dude, like, dude, graying hair, but had still had like the kind of the Justin Bieber cut. Oh, yeah. Not quite like full flip, but had like the long, like skater kid hair that we know from the like the mid-2000s.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

That's not what middle schoolers look like anymore, dude.

SPEAKER_03 50:15

Not anymore. I mean, like what they looked like then, like when he was a middle schooler, even like it's like he I don't know how old he was. He probably was in his like 30s, but he never changed his fit. He was wearing a green echo t-shirt with cargo shorts and big sneakers. Hell yeah. And he was like a graying man, and I'm like, dude, and but he was like super lanky and skinny, so he just never needed to change clothes. I was like, dude, what the fuck is this?

SPEAKER_01 50:43

You gotta dress for the your age a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 50:45

I mean change, like change one thing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, change. Yeah, one thing, one thing, and then it's not so it was jarring. I saw him like, what the it's like a relic, like looking at like an Amish man, like yeah, it's literally like looking at a new age Amish. He's like, Yeah, dude, I just feel like like you don't skateboard anymore. But like You never did, probably probably never did. He just liked the gear. I'm like, dude, it was crazy to look at, but you just see a guy who's like walking around, and I thought it'd be funny, like put him in like real, like adult situations where he's like, Yeah, like he's like, all right, so like working at like as like a concierge. Concierge, valet, doing a business proposal, like running a PowerPoint, being a like motivational speaker. Or like that's how you see your boss outside of work. I'd be like, I am fucking this company is not gonna last. That's even better.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

I kind of like that idea a lot.

SPEAKER_03 51:36

That's even better. Like normal boss, normal boss, he's like is a real dick nose to you, belittles you at work, and then you see him outside. Even better, he's got pinwheel hat, big lollipop. He's like, yo, what's up? I don't usually see you out.

SPEAKER_02 51:54

Like holding the hand of his mom.

SPEAKER_03 51:57

Yeah, or just or a giganteus woman, like a seven-foot woman who's like, yeah, this is my girlfriend, you know, they're really really powerful women. She's in the WNBA. No worries.

SPEAKER_02 52:06

I'm like, no worries, she kind of dominates.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

Oh, this is this is Sheila, you know.

SPEAKER_01 52:09

Well, that's all I talk about over here.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

The old ball and gin, am I right?

SPEAKER_01 52:16

And he gets a kazoo while he's like holding him like a fucking baby, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:22

Has a child leash on him. You could get that could be a whole lane of meeting your boss outside of work and he dresses like an absolute like a child or just like a crazy like guy dresses up like David Bowie outside with like lightning paint on his face.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

Like, do you like come from somewhere the clock?

SPEAKER_03 52:41

Yeah, dude. This is just normal way. What do you mean? He's like, Did you like come from like you come from like a convention or a concert? Sometimes like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 52:53

Like this is just what I do.

SPEAKER_03 52:55

This is what I do. I was yeah, I just live talk like this. Yeah, but I'm not you know, I kind of you know tone it down a little bit in the office, but yeah, but yeah, that could like that. That's a whole nother that that's why we have the writer's room, boys.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

Yeah, you can't because that's what I was realizing as I was thinking of Diaz. I'm like, I need to bounce this. You gotta bounce this.

SPEAKER_03 53:19

That's why you have we that's why we have this perfect the triangle is power. They write, they write, they they look like they run a pretty solid three-man group.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

I need to see that video.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

I need to I need the we'll show it. You just need to follow because there's a lot of times where yeah, it's the shit is. After you showed it to me, I'm like, this is ridiculous. Yeah, the people who play this, there's like those are guys who are funny. It has to be AI, dude. It has to be all AI, guaranteed. I don't know, dude. I mean, I'm thinking written by someone. I don't know. The guys look preposterous. The guys look preposterous.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

That dude is way too sweaty to be like actually that's how he looks.

SPEAKER_03 53:59

I don't know. That the sweat, I don't think AI could truly have like that's a mist he gets both.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

Oh, that's an AI prompt of like make this man galicidate. I gotta see that.

SPEAKER_03 54:08

I don't know, dude. I don't know. That's that's the thing you don't so my other my other prompt is using other colors to say when you're blacked out. Blue, teal, red, and purple.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

Obviously, we have you've had too much to drink.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

Yeah. But using a different color, yeah, tealed out. I tealed out last night. Like, cause green out obviously is when you do too much weed. Redding out, you had too much red 40. I don't know. Red 40. Yeah, you got your ass beat until you went unconscious. You got one unconscious. I read it out last night. What? I can see you being angry, red now. Red now, yeah. I saw red. I'm so angry, I passed out. Sorry guys, I read it out for a second. But using different colors instead of blacking out, I think is funny too. Just like in casual conversations, like, yeah, dude, last night was crazy. I purpled out. Like, what? Purple dot's when you purple dot doesn't go across the tongue as well, you know. It's not, it has to be a one-syllable. I was purped out. Blued out. Blued out, yeah, I blew it out last night. Blued out.

SPEAKER_02 55:06

Got blued out.

SPEAKER_03 55:07

Got blued out last night. Blued out last night. That's crazy. Dude, you were blew out last night. You were acting like the man. You were fucking messed the fuck up. So then something also that um uh is just part of my life that I've realized, yeah, is because I work at the jail and at the hospital, and I see some overlay between those two. Sure. If you are someone with mental illness and you see me at the jail, and then you also see me at the hospital when you're committed, that like the a guy's freaking out because he thinks he's in a simulation with reused NPC skins.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

Ooh, I like that.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

Because it is weird, but like, I just work two jobs. Or like, or like it would be like you would have like a like realistically to play with the trope, you would have a you don't remember, you would have a small Mexican man who would be working everywhere. And you'd have some guy who thinks he's like, I'm going fucking crazy. I'm going fucking I see the same guy everywhere. He's at the gas station, he's at the fucking um uh he's like he's working the deli counter, he's at like I see him on the side of the road working construction during the day. He's like, Hey man, I just had like three jobs, man. I'm just it's it's hard out here, man.

SPEAKER_02 56:20

Family to feed, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

And he's just guy, a guy just has a bunch of jobs, but other guy thinks like I'm seeing I'm in a simulation, it's the same character.

SPEAKER_02 56:27

Like the the yeah, the repeat of the matrix.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

Because I've had that before. Like, I know like people, I know you from somewhere. I'm like, I like and a lot of times I'll be like, You've ever been locked up or in hot in the hospital. Like if you play like I usually just say I have one of those faces, both actually, both, yeah. I'm like, well, you've seen me before. Because but it would, I especially because I'm on like the behavioral health units. I have to imagine, like, I kind of hope that does like um uh some kind of mental like violence to people because it would be insane to be in jail. You get out, you go like because sometimes you get out to the hospital.

SPEAKER_02 57:03

How much time do you spend with uh each person in jail?

SPEAKER_03 57:06

Not much time at all, but they see me if they're walking through, they'll see me. Um uh so you see me, and then I'm also the guy in security walking around the halls, possibly holding you down for injections. And they're like, You just gotta make faces.

SPEAKER_02 57:19

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 57:20

I do think I gotta start whispering in people's ears more. Yeah, me.

SPEAKER_00 57:25

You're actually fine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:33

Another skit. Just a guy who just is a shitty person who holds on people and says bad things to them.

SPEAKER_00 57:42

He's like, you're not here. We're here, you're here because we're told you have to be here. You're never leaving. The medication's making you sick. Yeah. No, get the poison out of me.

SPEAKER_03 57:53

I don't know what's going on. He's freaking out. Yes, yeah, no, he's he's not responding to verbal commands. We gotta go quickly, quickly, inject him, inject him.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

Yeah, oh yeah, like scrubs, but everybody's in on it.

SPEAKER_03 58:09

Scrubs?

SPEAKER_02 58:10

That is a whole T HBO holding them down with the nurses. They're all like, You're all chanting, none of this is real. None of this is real. Wake up, wake up, wake up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:25

Somebody get the get your hands off.

SPEAKER_02 58:28

Were you all chanting it at me to wake up yesterday?

SPEAKER_03 58:31

No, dude. No. And the doctor comes in and said, So it says you were having hallucinations in your charts. No, those were real. I'm like, okay, I think you're gonna have to stay for another couple days. You're not ready for release, but I'm gonna believe a doctor.

SPEAKER_02 58:43

Yeah, we're not gonna believe in the nurse.

SPEAKER_03 58:46

Yeah. Okay, but yeah, so that's another I think I'm off. That's just part of my life. Gaslighting mental patients. Gaslighting mental patients, gaslighting inmates, making them think that they're caught in the simulation in a loop or like these two they're using the same people in these government establishments.

SPEAKER_02 59:04

Oh, yeah. Go up to a mental hospital, any of those rooms dressed as Morpheus. Red pills.

SPEAKER_03 59:13

That is they should just start colouring the pills. I think the guys would be more willing to take their medication if they thought they were gonna get out of the simulation.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

Just Morpheus. Yeah, two of the same pills. Two of the same pills, just different colors. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:27

Keep going down the rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_03 59:29

Yeah. Oh, oh, wake up.

SPEAKER_02 59:32

Oh stay in Neverland. I'll keep going down the rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_03 59:36

Yeah, that's what I mean. So that's another thing I had. I that's that's all I didn't have any good.

SPEAKER_02 59:39

Sweet. I wish that would happen.

SPEAKER_03 59:40

Honestly, because then like that might be good because it makes them feel like they have a choice.

SPEAKER_02 59:44

It does make them feel like they have a choice.

SPEAKER_03 59:46

Yeah, that's what I mean. I do think there needs to be more, but then you're feeding into their delusions, which is part of the problem. You're trying to ground these people so that they can leave and live like relatively normal lives. You get it. But what's normal, you know? What is normal is right.

SPEAKER_02 59:59

The nurse gives them a disclaimer before Morpheus comes in.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:02

Yeah. Alright, so this is a lead actor.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

You know, yeah. This is this guy's just gonna give you medication. This guy's gonna give you medication.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:12

I would leather duster comes in.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

He's gonna say some extra shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:16

You're gonna say some bullshit. Alright, alright. Morpheus, come on in for you, please, machine. And all the vegetables, yo!

unknown 1:00:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:32

That would be different if you could get all if we could change the paper scrubs for black dusters. Yeah, have everyone look like they're dressing the matrix. This is just a similar Neo! Neo! Yeah, if we could if if I could do that with one of them, tell them they're the chosen one, man, some of those guys would love that shit. Disclaimer, I would never do that. I keep it very professional in my place of work, but it would be funny for a skit. These are jokes!

SPEAKER_02 1:01:04

Again, these are all jokes. Get one of the patients near the nurse station, they hear the phone ring, they pick it up, you get their attention, and then they're gone. Because that's what they do in the Matrix. They take the phone to go back.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:17

To go away.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:18

They disappear.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:19

I just clap really loud to get his head his eyes away from her, and then she just ducks under the desk.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Yeah, the phone falls.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

What the f I'm taking you, I'm jacking you out. Two weeks before you do this, have everybody watch them the whole matrix game.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:35

I could put it on for group. They always want to watch Twilight because there's a couple heavy set women who are like, I want to watch Twilight. Which I don't think is good for them. No. Believe in werewolves and vampires and Draculus. And Dracula. Draculus? We don't want Dracula. Get them into the Matrix. Oh, I know Kung Fu. I know Kung Fu. Yeah, no. We've had a big problem with guys inciting riots in the mental because they all start getting them friends together and be like, we don't gotta take this, they're keeping us here. So they're real Morpheus of their own. They are actually a real cheese! Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are going for the machines. If I ever see one of those motherfuckers with little glasses, are we bringing our Morpheus glasses to the beach?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:14

Do you refer to the mental ward as Zion?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:17

I start should. I should start.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:19

We should start doing that.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:20

Yeah, we're going to Zion.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:22

Sorry, I gotta head to Zion. Gotta go to Zion.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:25

That would be the safe place. That would be the place away from the machines. Well, you don't know that. You're the machine. I am the machine. I wouldn't want them to. I am um uh Mr. Smith, right? Or Mr. Anderson, because Mr. Anderson's new. Yeah, you're Mr. I'm Mr. Smith.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:42

If anything, the mental hospital is Zion because the machines are the police.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:46

And when they're outside of the mental hospital, they have to contend with the Yeah, the actual machines, the octopus freaking drones. Yeah, in a perfect world.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:57

It wouldn't feel like a bunch of robot spiders would come after you. Yeah. Yeah, I think some of those guys like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:02

I'm sure some of those guys fucking think I'm out of the situation. Yeah. Quickly. He's a man who can escape death. Yeah. It's doing the some guy starts doing the bullet time, doing dodging bullets, dodging invisible bullets. Guy thinks he's doing that with shots. Well, folks, that has been our time with the UTH podcast. I hope you enjoyed our creative journey through, you know, stuff and things. Exactly. Hey, it's alright. I my my piece about China.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

You gotta Yeah, that was good. That was Foul Gong.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:43

Love him or hate him. Foulung. Happening to him. Something's happening to them, most likely being taken as organ slaves. Chew on that, folks. This has been the UTH podcast, Brian Need. Thanks so much for listening to y'all. Good night.